Tsutae's Secret
by Ria D'Arcy
Summary: STAGE: Heaven's Arena/Kukuroo Mountain PLAYERS: Tsutae (16) and Hisoka (19) THE GAME: What else could it be? Hisoka has found himself an interesting new toy, and he plans to savor the chase. Meanwhile, Tsutae is... she doesn't seem to know anymore. Her life goes from a straight path to a shroud of mystery, and Hisoka's interest in her is not a welcomed distraction. Not at first...
1. Ground Zero

_A/N: I am warning you people now, this is LONG and not OVERLY exciting, but I have been working on this for a few days and decided to post it even though it is not complete. There will be more to come eventually. I will slowly be working on the second part and am hoping to have it up around New Year's. _

_Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me except for the plot and my OCs. Hisoka is (regrettably) not my character though I would pay an arm or a leg to own him._

* * *

Tsutae closed her eyes but could not block the sound of the man crumpling to the ground from her ears. She knew, without a doubt, that he was dead. The surrounding crowd was deathly quiet in the arena, even the announcer was in too much shock to describe what had just happened.

The match was over, Tsutae had won and her opponent was dead. His heart had been torn from his chest cavity and carelessly dropped next to his now lifeless corpse. The only evidence it had been Tsutae's doing was the still warm crimson liquid dripping from her fingertips.

Breathing out to relax her body, Tsutae withdrew her claws and allowed her hand to contort back into its original shape. Opening her now brown eyes, Tsutae looked at her kill. No human could live very long without their heart. And this only made one more kill on Tsutae's list.

Tsutae was currently fighting on the 200th floor of the Heaven's Arena, trying to fruitlessly catch up to her younger brother's shadow. The past few years Hakka Zoldyck had progressed rapidly, leaving his elder sister Tsutae to lag behind. Her only accomplishments remained in her poisons.

Hakka had already completed his ten wins on the 200th floor; he had completed them before Tsutae had even set foot here. This had been Tsutae's first fight on this floor, while her brother had already returned to their mansion.

The silence of the crowd pounded in Tsutae's ear, louder than their cheering ever could. Raising her gaze to the stands Tsutae took a single step forward. Her movement seemed to break the spell over the announcer, who loudly proclaimed,

"Tae is the winner," yet the crowd never applauded or cheered.

Avoiding the ever increasing pool of blood around her opponent, Tsutae reached up with her unbloodied hand to release her hair. The dark strands cascaded down her back to rest low and with a soft wave near the ends.

She hopped off the raised square platform and walked down the dark corridor. Tsutae stopped only when she knew she was hidden in the shadows and stared at the drying blood on her hand. Its red hue was slowly beginning to be replaced by rustic brown the more it dried. Impossible to resist the temptation, she raised her hand to her lips and her tongue snaked out to taste the familiar coppery substance when another voice spoke up. It came from the deeper shadows, farther down the hallway.

"My, my, what a pretty girl~ but such a filthy habit hmm~" Tsutae's eyes darted to the man who slowly emerged into view, a predatory look in his strange yellow eyes. His hair was the same color as the blood still on Tsutae's hand; her tongue licked her lips when she noted the comparison.

However, after having been so absorbed by the color the first time, and by that neglecting to pick up his presence, Tsutae was not about to relax her guard anytime soon.

Her gaze roved over his entire body, noting his unusual appearance. On his upper arms and wrists were sweat bands, or something akin to them. He wore pants that were fitted to his waist and tucked into black shoes with the toes pointed up. His rustic red hair was spiked up and away from his face so nothing obscured the painted teardrop and star upon his cheeks.

Tsutae watched as, from seemingly nowhere, he pulled forth a deck of cards and began to shuffle them leisurely.

Those cards… there was only one person in the whole arena who was known for using playing cards as weapons…

"Hisoka." Tsutae said in a voice which barely concealed her irrational loathing of this boy.

"Oh~ What a pleasure it is, to be so easily recognized by a woman such as you." His yellow eyes narrowed and he stopped shuffling, his feet bringing him some steps closer until Tsutae felt the instinctual urge to gain more distance. He was dangerous. Tsutae understood this, but could not force her feet to move as they should.

Hisoka smiled and pushed his boundaries by walking another foot closer. He was intrigued with this girl, who was comparably younger than him, not in age but in skill. Of course, she was fairly accomplished in that as well, but Hisoka felt confident that he could still break her anytime he wished. But, where was the fun in the game if he simply did that?

Tsutae finally retreated, taking only a half-step back but it was an accomplishment. This type of fear was such an unknown feeling to Tsutae. She had been trained to withstand so much, yet this man produced a primal fear deep within Tsutae's gut and she had learned long ago her instincts were the one thing in life she could wholeheartedly trust. Even her own blood kin were not to be given her complete trust, for if paid enough they would turn on her. Tsutae knew this, even if at many points in her life she wished she did not.

"Tae~chan…" Within the blink of an eye Hisoka had moved with such speed towards her that Tsutae had no time to think, only to act. Her instincts maneuverer her body, twisting away from Hisoka before jumping back a distance so she was now in the spot Hisoka had originally appeared from and he was in hers.

Hisoka chuckled, thrilled to see her running. He licked his lips and shuffled his cards, repressing his enjoyment at such an honest display.

Tsutae waited, would Hisoka make another move towards her? Would she be able to evade and get away from him? Multiple scenarios ran through Tsutae's thoughts, she tried to create a plan for every possible outcome. Her plans were formulated in only a few seconds, but there was one scenario Tsutae had not planned for.

Hisoka walked away.

He turned his back on her, and made his way to the ring. Only then did Tsutae realize that a rhythmic chant was coming from the stands.

"Hi-so-ka! Hi-so-ka! Hi-so-ka!" They were cheering for him…

Tsutae's hands dropped to her sides and her muscles relaxed only when it was apparent Hisoka would not be turning around. He had just… left. Tsutae did not know why, but mixed with her relief was a sense of disappointment.

* * *

Shutting the door to her room, Tsutae stared at the half bloody hand print she had left on the white paint. Her gaze travelled to her still blood laced hand, no longer feeling transfixed by the color. Jerking her body around, Tsutae made her way to the bathroom. She pulled her shirt over her head as she walked, discarding it to the wooden floor to be picked up the next time she felt like it.

Tsutae stopped to lean on the doorframe of the single bedroom and took the time to kick off her shoes and peel off her socks. Walking the rest of the way in nothing more than a bra and pants, Tsutae turned the shower onto full blast and stepped in without undressing the rest of the way.

Her muscles protested the entire time.

Trusting her weight to the tiled wall, Tsutae let her feet slowly slide out from beneath her and allowed her body to collapse against the floor of the shower. Hot water sprayed down to soak her thoroughly, but Tsutae could barely acknowledge the heat. She felt cold. And it wasn't because of the kill. Tsutae had grown numb to that pain when she was still only a child.

It was because of Hisoka. That man… he was frightening. He was powerful. He was…

Tsutae squeezed her eyes tightly shut to block the thoughts.

…handsome.

Holding aloft her hand, Tsutae watched as the water slowly mixed with the dried blood and the now pink water was pulled by gravity to disappear down the drain. Tsutae watched until the last remnants of the pink water was gone before dropping both her hand and head.

The muscles in her stomach tightened as she thought back to how Hisoka had looked. He was filled with confidence… A confidence Tsutae had lost. Sure she was a Zoldyck in name, and her skill was superior to those who were not from her family, but within the Zoldyck bloodline she would forever be viewed as a failure. It was Hakka who was the success.

…and now a second silver haired Zoldyck had been born. Tsutae's younger cousin, Killua, who was now five. Her uncle had already declared Killua would be the heir. He was so young, yet filled with a potential which made Tsutae feel like a novice next to him.

The shower was still blasting down upon Tsutae's head and making it indistinguishable to tell what was water and what were tears…

* * *

"Hmm~" Hisoka hummed as his body leaned against the wall of the ground floor foyer in the Heaven's Arena. He had been waiting in this exact spot since early morning, hoping to catch a glimpse of the girl from yesterday, Tae-chan. And he had just spotted his elusive girl now…

He watched from his spot as she left, never turning her head and her gaze locked forward. Where was she going ne~?

Hisoka followed, curious as a cat and as insatiable as a predator with their prey within their grasp. He watched her all throughout the morning, but by noon Hisoka's interesting was beginning to fade from the dark haired teen.

Tsutae had hopped from one boutique to another in the downtown area, never buying anything but spending exactly the same amount of time in every store. She looked up at the sky, shielding her eyes from the sun's glare and guessed it to be lunchtime.

Tsutae was not at all picky about her eating habits, so she simply found the nearest café and went in. How lucky for Hisoka, as it just so happened to be _his _favourite café. Upon following her inside, the hostess greeted him enthusiastically.

"Hisoka-sama! It's so great to see you again!" Her dark blue hair was cut to frame her face and her green eyes sparkled with happiness. It was precisely her kind of face that bored Hisoka the most. "I have your favourite table open, if you want to follow me."

Without acknowledging her, Hisoka walked to his 'favourite table' and discovered his newest amusement at the table beside his. Since Tsutae appeared to be sitting alone and not awaiting any particular company, Hisoka invited himself to the party.

"Tae~chan~" He purred, only to realize Tsutae had already known about his presence and currently held a blade against the inside of his thigh, posed over the femoral artery there. Guess that was what he deserved for taking the seat immediately beside this deadly beauty. He repressed the urge to lick his lips.

"Hisoka." That was the second time Tsutae had spoken his name aloud, her stomach muscles clenching as she realized she did not detest his name. The way she spoke it… Tsutae bit her tongue to prevent herself from saying it again. Instead, she glared vehemently at the red haired man beside her.

"_Tsk_ is this how such a beauty greets her beau?" Hisoka stroked the back of the hand which held the knife, smiling when he saw the shudder pass through her body. Tsutae refused to pull her hand away, but Hisoka was good. He used the lightest of touches to trace patterns on the sensitive skin with his fingertips.

Anger flashed in her now clear green eyes as she heard what Hisoka had said.

"You are not my beau." Tsutae hissed, pressing her knife deeper into his skin. One single slice and he would be bleeding well. It would be so easy…

"Than what am I Tae-chan?" Hisoka asked in open wonder, curious about so much more than just her opinion of him. Like, were her eyes always this green? Had they not been brown when he talked to her last night?

"You," Tsutae kept her voice pitched low, "are a nuisance."

Hisoka laughed, loudly, at her choice of words. He had been called many things in his short years, but _nuisance_ was new.

The other customers in the shop turned to look at the strange red head, but the two paid no heed. Hisoka was used to the attention wherever he went, and Tsutae was too perplexed by the older man's actions to even notice the expressions of those around them.

"Lovely Tae-chan… you are simply a delight. If you keep acting like this I may eat you before you are a ripe fruit." Hisoka chortled as he said this. Tsutae's face contorted into a scowl, insulted at being personified with a fruit metaphor.

She abruptly pushed away from their table, the blade already re-hidden amongst her clothing. Hisoka was impressed with her skill at concealing and withdrawing her weapon. She was an interesting little one, and he would have fun slowly figuring out not only her secrets but crushing her in his hands as well.

Tsutae stalked from the café, while Hisoka remained seated. His curiosity in her may have been renewed, but he was not about to continue following her. He had learned what he needed to from her today; why not let her have her afternoon to herself? Their game was far from over anyways.

* * *

Tsutae replaced the necklace she had ideally picked up in the last boutique on the block. There had been no real purpose to her outing today, other than to take a breather from her room. Heaven's Arena was nice, especially the rooms on the 200th floor, but it was redundant to spend all her time there when there was a whole new world for the teen to discover.

But, so far the world was not all that interesting. The only thing Tsutae had found interesting was…

Gnawing on her bottom lip, Tsutae exited the store and tried to leave her thoughts behind as well. The crowds had waned the later it had gotten, and the street lights had come on just recently. Night time in the city might as well have been high noon in the country because of all the lights. Cities never sleep, and neither did Tsutae.

Holding her hands together behind her back, the teen took her time to stroll along the slowly emptying sidewalk. There were still hours to kill before she wanted to go back to the Heaven's Arena, but had nothing to occupy her time. Tsutae was not one to participate in many hobbies; her only one was actually her poisons. However, Tsutae had not thought it would take her so long to conquer the floors and had not planned ahead to pack some small vials of raw or mixed ingredients.

Passing through a park, Tsutae stopped to gaze at the moon. It was nearly full yet its light was brilliant. Stars were seen twinkling here and there, but only the brightest and bravest for the skyline was heavily clouded by the city smog.

She drew a deep breath into her lungs, scenting a fraction of coming rain. Tsutae breathed out and threw her body down onto a nearby park bench. What was she supposed to do now? She looked down at her toes, picking absentmindedly at the laces of her running shoes. Dressed in a common pair of blue jeans and a long sleeved soft yellow, off the shoulder top, Tsutae had also tied her hair into loose twin tails. She looked like a normal teenage girl who was out after curfew, but without her friends.

Resting her head on her huddled knees, Tsutae closed her eyes in exhaustion. It was so quiet at the moment… peaceful…

She felt her thoughts wander wherever they may, not at all concern which path they went down. Tsutae had come to terms with her life and was not one to wallow in the past. She looked at her life like it belonged to someone else; she felt no real connection to her memories.

Her thoughts led her to a time in her life when her mother had nearly killed her simply because Vanessa was disgusted with her daughter.

* * *

_Vanessa Zoldyck looked down at her eldest offspring, her daughter that greatly resembled her own appearance. She sneered, kicking the girl in the ribs to rouse her. Tsutae had fallen unconscious after Hakka had delivered a perfect blow to a nerve located in the back of her neck._

_Tsutae coughed, spitting up saliva before her green eyes fluttered open. Her limbs felt weak and numb._

"_Get up." Vanessa ordered, her eyes narrowed in climbing rage. Tsutae struggled to her feet only to be knocked down by her mother's hand. She huddled on her side against the stone floor and said nothing as her mother rained blows down upon her._

_Time passed and Vanessa finally let up. _

_Tsutae pushed herself up fully, swaying on her feet. She resisted the urge to feel her battered body; she knew bruises would form along her arms by the time the sun set, and Tsutae would be lucky not to have a broken rib or two. Her face felt swollen. Allowing her tongue to run along her teeth, Tsutae tasted the blood from her split lip._

_While Tsutae was focusing on her internal diagnostic, Vanessa's anger peaked as she saw Tsutae's legs shaking with the effort to stay upright. How dare her eldest child show such weakness! Her brother's sons were not this weak! Her children should be as strong, nay __**stronger,**__ than her brother's!_

_Clenching her fists tightly, Vanessa felt her hand contort and her nails pierced the skin of her palm. Without a shred of remorse, Vanessa lashed out. Catching her daughter's cheek, four bloody streaks were carved into Tsutae's face._

_Tsutae's cry of pain mirrored that of a wild animal's. However, the vocalization of her pain only seemed to send Tsutae's mother farther over the edge. Vanessa lashed out again with her claws and shredded the front of her daughter's shirt, spilling more of the life liquid from her daughter._

_The more Tsutae cried the angrier Vanessa became. Eventually Tsutae could no longer support her own weight and crumpled, more a bloody heap than solid flesh. _

"_Mamma?" Hakka's voice was the one thing that could still the enraged woman. He had been in the room through the whole ordeal, but had held his silence for he thought his sister deserved everything she received. Vanessa stilled her hand, and Hakka never realized how narrowly his mother had come to murdering his sister in cold blood._

"_Hakka darling…" Vanessa cooed, forgetting her daughter in favor of her beloved silver haired son. Since her elder brother had not seen fit to produce a silver haired child, producing two with inky black locks, Hakka was the obvious choice to become the Zoldyck heir. She could not have been more proud of her son._

_The two left the large stone room without another word. And Tsutae was left on her own, just like all the times before when her family had abandoned her to her own care. _

_With a resolute strength, the ten year old crawled across the floor and eventually made her way to her own bedroom. Light headed from the blood loss, Tsutae struggled to staunch her bleeding. It took her all night, and no sooner had she wrapped her wounds did the fever set in._

* * *

"Tae~chan…" A softly careening voice pulled Tsutae's eyelids open and she looked sideways to see the red haired man from earlier. Why was he here?

Her feet touched the ground as Tsutae straightened her posture, too weary to react to his unexplained appearance.

Hisoka reached out a hand, brushing his thumb swiftly across Tsutae's cheek and catching a tear. He brought the drop of liquid to his lips and tasted the salty fluid.

Refusing to greet the man, like she had the last two times they had met, Tsutae rose and made to walk off. Hisoka grasped her wrist, pulling her strongly back so Tsutae landed in his lap.

He chuckled.

"Hello Tae-chan~" Hisoka said again, nuzzling into the blushing girl's neck. "My, my, your scent is so… _arousing_." He licked from the base of Tsutae's neck to her jawline as she struggled to release herself, though the attempts were half-hearted in the face of her exhaustion.

"Get off you pervy sack of –"

"Such language!" Hisoka cut off, chuckling softly. He was hardly offended by words, but her reactions to everything he did were just too cute. However, her reactions at the moment were less than enthralling…

"I said get off!" Irked, Tsutae pulled her fist back and aimed a solid punch directly into the grinning man's face. He easily caught it, kissing each of her knuckles as Tsutae struggled to release herself from him yet again.

Muttering under her breath, some of which making Hisoka laugh in mirth, Tsutae finally extracted herself. She never looked back and set off down the nearly unseeable path, her aim was to return to Heaven's Arena.

Hisoka remained seated on the wooden bench, resting his arms along the back and with one ankle balancing on his other knee. He did not try to stop Tsutae again, merely watched the girl walk solemnly away. There had been little spark in her tonight, not surprising as the hour was unimaginable to most people.

Hisoka sat there, watching the stars until the sky began to lighten and he felt the need to stretch his muscles.

* * *

Weeks passed and Tsutae was actively avoiding Hisoka. And despite her efforts, he had appeared before her every day, greeting her with the same old,

"Good morning~ Tae-chan," she shuddered in remembrance, "Don't you look ripe this morning my little fruit…"

Wai– NO!

Tsutae twirled on her heel, planting her back against the nearest wall and holding her breath. But there he was, in his same old attire of pants, sweatbands, pointed shoes and no shirt.

"Hisoka." Tsutae's voice rolled his name inadvertently, causing him to smile with pride.

"My, my, Tae-chan finally dines to acknowledge me ne~"

Casting her eyes downwards, Tsutae pondered how she could get away from him without too much effort on her part. She saw a finger come into her view, titling her chin up enough so she stared directly into Hisoka's yellow eyes.

"Hmm~ Tae-chan's eyes are brown again. Ne~ Tell me why?" Hisoka refused to release her chin when Tsutae tried to turn her head, grasping it firmly between his thumb and index finger. It was the first time since their night in the park that he had heard her voice and Hisoka was not one to let an opportunity for fun slip away.

Tsutae slapped away his hand, and Hisoka allowed it, keeping her trapped against the wall with his physical body alone. She was so much smaller than him… but she was hardly a fragile woman. Those who were made of glass never survived in the Heaven's Arena, there were too many people like him who made it their pastime to shatter the glass as soon as they could. Hisoka's game was just a little different; keeping them perched precariously on a ledge, only allowing them to topple over when he wanted them too. Although there were those few who chose to plummet to their own fate by their own hand…

Hisoka enjoyed those games the least. What was the point of the chase if he could not enjoy the final kill?

"Won't Tae-chan tell me~?" Hisoka implored after some time had passed and Tsutae kept quiet. He was fast losing interest in her unresponsive body; surely she was not such a poor game? She had been enthralling during her first match, when she killed her opponent without hesitation.

Hisoka licked his lips as he remembered how she looked, when she was about to lick the drying blood from her hand. Her look then…

He held in his moan of ecstasy.

"Tsutae." A male voice called and Hisoka saw the girl in his arms respond instinctually. Hisoka turned to stare drawly at the approaching young man. He had silver hair and blue eyes, a confidence in his step as he walked directly up to Hisoka and Tsutae, never batting an eye at their intimate position.

Hisoka took an instant disliking to the cocky boy. He seemed far too naïve, believing the strength he currently possessed was enough to overwhelm any opponent he fought. _Such a fool_, Hisoka thought with a frown.

"B-brother, why?" Tsutae stammered, elbowing Hisoka in the kidney to force him away and closing the distance towards her apparent brother.

"For you from mamma," he held out a folded sheet of paper. Tsutae snatched it greedily, reading the words in silence. Looking up as she finished, Tsutae's expression told Hisoka everything he needed to know. Tsutae was dismayed by whatever the note had said.

"Hakka," whispered Tsutae, her eyes growing wet.

Hisoka, not one to remain out of the loop for long, snatched the note from Tsutae's limp hand and read it himself,

_Tsutae,_

_Since you're training has proven ineffective at the Heaven's Arena, _

_I am seeing fit to send you to your Uncle's._

_You are a disgrace to our proud Zoldyck name._

_Do not return before me until you have received Silva's approval._

_-Vanessa_

The handwritten script was flowing and feminine, in contrast to the dark message it contained. Hisoka, glancing up with his own expression of astonishment, tried to connect the dots of his mind.

This girl, and by default the cocky bastard who handed her the note as well, was a member of the _Zoldyck_ family? The game just became a lot more interesting, Hisoka thought with glee.

"See ya, _big sis_." Hakka sneered the usually sweet endearment so it came out sounding twisted. Tsutae blinked, trying her upmost to contain her tears and watched with wounded eyes as her brother turned without another glance and made his way to the automatic sliding doors which served as the main entry to the building.

Hisoka dined to keep his tongue and let the poor girl off the hook for the day. He would play nice, for now. He was not overly fond of crying girls after all...

"Come on Tae-chan," Hisoka grasped her wrist and pulled her along. They too exited the building, but already there was no longer any sign of Hakka.

* * *

The two teenagers walked, side by side, through the crowd of strangers on the sidewalk. Hisoka seemed to have an idea of where they were going, and Tsutae just followed, walking automatically with downcast eyes.

Growing increasingly bored of the quiet between the pair, Hisoka decided to have a little fun with the seemingly oblivious girl. He wasn't called a magician for nothing… and as some people knew, magicians were also well known for being incredible tricksters…

He looked quickly down to the left at the girl's feet, noting that she was wearing a pair of plain black sneakers and jeans, before attaching a small piece of his nen to the toe of her left shoe. Hisoka lifted his gaze and maneuvered that same piece of sticky nen, making his fingers move minimally so it seemed normal when he suddenly yanked on the nen.

Tsutae felt her left foot suddenly yanked sideways, knocking into her right leg and unbalancing her. Her one knee struck the ground, followed by her hands and before Hisoka could even laugh once Tsutae had already climbed back to her feet and looked as if nothing had happened.

Most of the people around them never had time to notice the girl fall.

Hisoka let out a low, impressed sounding whistle as he looked down at the shorter girl's head. The two were stopped in the middle of the sidewalk; people were pushing against them in their impatience to go wherever they thought they had to be.

"Don't do that again." Tsutae stated in a voice that broke no arguments and continued walking. Her pace was smooth and even, making Hisoka feel disappointed that he had not only failed in flustering the girl but that she seemed unaffected physically by his effort.

Unfortunately for Tsuate, her calm exterior was a complete façade. Internally she was _very_ flustered. She had been absorbed in her thoughts, despairing over her mother's impartial letter. She was to be sent to her uncle's? Why?

Tsutae's mother had little, nay _nothing_ to do with the main family in a decade. Tsutae had been four years old the one and _only_ time they had travelled to the main house. She remembered it well, for it was the first time she had met her cousin Illumi. Before that meeting, Tsutae had been ignorant to the fact that she even _had_ relatives her own age.

And if it had not been for her mother's lengthy and overdramatic hysterical screams of outrage and humiliation at receiving the news of Killua's birth, Tsutae may still be ignorant of the fact that she now had _three_ male cousins instead of only Illumi.

"Say ah~" Hisoka's odd words forced Tsutae to once more crawl forth from her thoughts and she saw as the red haired man held out to her a vanilla ice cream cone. Taking the frozen treat, Tsutae licked at it, growing increasingly more engrossed in the activity. It was… good. This was the first time Tsutae could ever remember actually tasting ice cream.

"Mhmm…" She hummed, closing her eyes and savoring a small bite as it melting on her tongue. Too bad for Tsutae she was inexperienced with such a treat, for taking a slightly too large bite she felt a constricting feeling in the top of her mouth from the sudden cold. "Ahh…"

"Brainfreeze!" Hisoka cried in jubilation as he watched the girl cover her mouth with her hand, fruitlessly trying to make her mouth warmer.

"Gah! That was _cold_." Tsutae fanned her mouth once most of the numbness had faded and she warily eyed the rest of the cone.

"Tae-chan is cute~"

"Why do you always say such things?" Her head tilted curiously. She eyed him with her brown eyes in puzzlement, never having fully understood the thoughts which filtered through his mind.

"Because Tae-chan _is_ cute." Hisoka said in lieu of an explanation and continued to eat his own strawberry ice cream cone.

The two had ended up back in the park, where some weeks back they had run into each other under the nearly full moon. Now, it was flooded in sunlight. The deciduous trees were covered in healthy green leaves, providing ample shade along the pathways which meandered about. As it was an early afternoon sunny weekday, the only occupants of the park were mother's watching their children play in the jungle gym and swing on the swings. The children's shrieks of carefree laughter carried to the teens, who silently agreed to avoid people.

Hisoka ignored the disapproving looks of some of the mothers as he lead Tsutae deeper into the park. They were probably just offended that he decided to walk around shirtless, not that it bugged Hisoka. He never had an easy time following conventional rules and laws; he much preferred the freedom of ruling his own life.

"So… Why are we here?" Tsutae finally ventured. The two had spent the afternoon in tranquility, finding a grassy little hill and laying on their backs to cloud watch. It was growing later, the day was growing old and soon it would be evening. Tsutae would have to make her way back to the Heaven's Arena to collect her… possessions.

"The question should really have been; why are we not somewhere else?" Hisoka countered, still gazing up at the clouds but with a smile in his voice. Tsutae was too relaxed to even think of countering his minds games, so she played along. Somehow, being with him, like this, was the most calming experience Tsutae had ever known. Which spoke volumes since the first time Tsutae had met the clown-wannabe she had been unable to move, and now, here she was, lying next to him like it was the most natural thing on the planet.

"Why did you choose this park?" Tsutae asked, her own eyes still watching the sky above her.

"Because Tae-chan likes this park."

"How did you-?"

"Know?" Hisoka finished and rolled onto his stomach, folding his arms beneath his chin to look across the park. "I know a great deal about my Tae-chan."

Tsutae arched a single eyebrow as she too rolled, resting on her right side and staring at his red hair, tracing every strand with her eyes.

"Oh?" Was all she said.

"Mhm~ Is my Tae-chan curious?" Hisoka purred, adjusting his body position to mirror Tsutae's. Her brown eyes darted away, and she could not fight off the blush that crept across her cheeks. With a mumbled,

"Yes," Hisoka smirked and began to list everything he had learned about her over the past little while. Which, to Tsutae's surprise, was quite a bit more than she was comfortable with him knowing.

* * *

_A/N: Thank you for reading this far, and I do hope you will come back for the next installment of **Tsutae's Secret** ^^_


	2. Ground Zero: Shaken

_A/N: Earlier than I thought I would post, but it's also not as long as the first chapter either. Hisoka **still** doesn't belong to me, and right now I'm actually happy about that fact. Sleep depravity + psychopath + me = Nothing good. Enjoy reading ^^_

* * *

The click of the door closing behind Tsutae sounded loud in the silent room. There was no light to see by, but that didn't bother Tsutae, in fact, it was preferable for now. Leaning her weight against the closed door, she slid down until she was sitting with her knees curled up and her arms wrapped around them.

Tsutae was shaking.

Visibly shaking.

The feeling had started in her stomach when Hisoka had first started listed the things he had discovered about her. Somehow she had managed to fight down the urge until she was protected in isolation.

How? Was all she thought as the conversation ran through her mind again and again…

* * *

"_Yes." Tsutae said in response to Hisoka's question. He smirked as he faced Tsutae on his side. Their positions were mirror images; Hisoka laid out on his left and Tsutae on her right. She had tucked her arm beneath her head and rested against it like a pillow. Hisoka had propped his own head up on the knuckles of his hand, enjoying the new view._

_His free hand reached out and stroked her cheek, causing Tsutae to flinch back before relaxing into the rhythmic touch._

"_Hmm~ Where should I start Tae-chan?" Hisoka mused, without really wanting an answer. Tsutae just lowered her eyelashes and stared at the small patch of grass between their bodies. She was too conscious of him, too close to him. Yet, as much as her brain knew to get away from him, her heart was telling her to stay where she was._

"_Zoldyck, Tsutae…" He purred to gain her attention once more. Tsutae's brown eyes, though not reflecting her shock, showed more white than usual. Hisoka chuckled before withdrawing his hand and using his finger to tap the earth in front of his chest, continuing on, "Sixteen years old. Favourite color is purple. One younger brother, though not sure how close. Twins maybe?"_

_Tsutae's eyes had lowered again and she grew irritated with herself. Of course he was pulling her leg, anyone could figure out all that. Just today he had learned of her family. Her age he could have simply gotten from the sign in desk, she __**had**__ filled out a standard registration form. Color… well, she kinda wore a lot of purple so he probably just took a guess and managed to get it right._

_What had she been expecting?! That he would somehow, __**intuitively **__know things that she never told anyone else? That he would know the inner workings of her mind because he had been around her a few times?_

_God Tsutae, she scolded herself, you're pathetic. _

"_Hmm~ I also know you're from the Zoldyck __**branch**__ family, and have an older cousin named Illumi…"_

"_You know Kage-kun?!" Her voice snapped out the question before her mind could even fully register it. _

_Hisoka chuckled._

"_Of course I know Illu-chan; you look quite like him in fact…" Hisoka could not help wetting his lips as he thought of the similarity between the two Zoldycks. It was quite remarkable how similar their features were to one another, the only striking difference between them were the eyes. Hisoka remembered Illumi had large, black eyes that seemed to take in everything but react to nothing. Tsutae's were brown… and sometimes green…_

_Tsutae did not know how to react to his last statement. She remembered the first time she had met her cousin, and even then she had noted the great number of similarities between the two of them. _

_Unfortunately, Hisoka was far from finished listing all he knew of his 'Tae-chan'._

"_You're practical, not one to joke about. Nor are you one to talk, probably a consequence from your profession. Tae-chan also has a soft spot for animals, especially dogs. Ne~ what's the pooch's name? The Irish setter you always stop to pet when you see him out walking with his owner?" The magician grinned widely, acting as though he had a sudden 'ah-ha' moment, "Redrum I believe, was it not?"_

_Tsutae's body was ridged, tense, filled with uncontrollable fear. How had he known that?!_

"_You also like to wander about, not a good habit for an assassin though is it? You were probably punished quite a bit as a child, yes~?"_

_When Tsutae pretended to ignore his words, Hisoka reached out with his hand and traced over the four invisible scars her mother had left on her face when she was ten years old. At the time she had received them, they had bled heavily and hurt like hell, but for some reason they had healed with only the faintest of traces. _

_Even on a bad day, Tsutae had trouble finding the physical traces with her eyes. But she could still feel them._

_How had he discovered something like that?_

"_Hmm~ What else shall I tell my Tae-chan? There is oh so much to tell and I just can't seem to decide where to stop~" Hisoka's yellow eyes narrowed in amusement as he noted the slow increase of breathing from Tsutae. Her chest rose and fell with each in- and ex-hale. Her mouth went dry and her eyes felt near to bulging from her eye sockets. _

_There was __**more**__?! Dear god please let him be bluffing! Tsutae begged in her mind, as her tongue refused to utter those words aloud. Zoldycks never pleaded or begged._

"_Oh~" Hisoka said with extreme glee, "Should we reminiscence about Tae-chan's first kill? Hmm~ That politician from nine years ago, yes? Ueda Kazuhiro."_

_Gulping, Tsutae glanced helplessly skyward and say with relief the darkening sky. With an inner strength Tsutae did not realize she still had, she pushed down her fluttering stomach and said, with deceptive calm,_

"_It's time for me to go." Tsutae slowly stood up and Hisoka, ever the gentleman, stood as well and walked her back. His face was triumphant. Her's was starkly pale._

* * *

Tsutae looked up to see the long expense of the hallway. Down a few feet and on the right, she could see the jutting doorframe of her bedroom. Further along, on the left, was the entrance to the en suite bathroom. Between those two doors was still the shirt Tsutae had discarded the day she had first met Hisoka.

The end of the hallway fed directly into the sitting area of the room, which was complete with a couch, comfy chair, small coffee table, and flat screen TV. All the floors were hardwood. All the walls were painted white.

And all Tsutae could see were slowly darkening shadows as day turned to night and the moonlight was too weak to filter through the large bay windows in the sitting room.

Feeling mentally exhausted from the day, Tsutae refused to stand up and walk to her room. The beds may have been soft, comfortable, and inviting to others, but Tsutae was different. She had never been overly fond of her own, so why would the one in Heaven's Arena be any different? Since the moment she was given this room, she only went in and out of the bathroom for fresh clothes.

The bed was completely untouched in the near _month_ Tsutae had spent on this floor of the arena.

However, if Tsutae _had_ gone into the bedroom tonight, she would have discovered Hisoka's secret on gathering information on her. But, that was something she would have to find in the morning, for her eyes closed and within seconds Tsuate was deeply asleep.

A sleep so deep, she did not stir once during the moonlight hours and opened her eyes only as the sun's rays began to seep through the bay windows and extended down the hallway to land upon her face.

* * *

Hisoka was in his own personal room when dawn broke. He was sitting on his bed, one knee drawn up with the other bent, contentedly building his third house of cards. He was no longer in his usual outfit, but instead had donned a pair of blue jeans with a dull orange sweater half zipped up. His hair was still dripping wet from his shower and his face paint had yet to be applied.

Focused on his task, Hisoka chose to ignore his phone the first time it rang. Though only one person would ever call him, and at such a time as this, Hisoka, for once, did not feel inclined to speak to his precious 'Illu-chan'.

Sticking his tongue out the left side of his mouth, he steadily completed the top tier of his card house. Sitting back satisfied, his face fell into a frown as his phone continued to beep. It grew increasingly more irritating the longer he ignored his friend's call, so Hisoka used his nen ability, Bungee Gum, to snatch up the phone from its place on the bedside table. If Hisoka had moved, all three card houses would have toppled and ruined his happy mood entirely.

"Yes~"

"_I do not appreciate waiting Hisoka."_ Hisoka smiled in spite of his irritation. It had been a while since he last heard his black-haired assassin's voice. He had been too busy playing with Illumi's adorable cousin to bug the seventeen year old boy with pesky text messages and phone calls.

"Gomen Illu-chan~" Hisoka sang, and was rewarded with hearing an audible sigh from the other end of the line.

"_What is your current location?"_

"Hmm~?" Hisoka evaded, raising an eyebrow. Was Illumi actively seeking the clown out? Hisoka thought there really _was_ a first for everything if that was the case. "I'm in the Heaven's Arena."

"_I will see you shortly then."_ The line was disconnected, leaving Hisoka with a few questions of his own. It really was strange for Illumi to act like this. The last time they had seen each other in person was… Hisoka had to think hard about this for a moment before recalling their chance encounter on the streets of some city or another eleven months ago. It had been a stroke of luck for Hisoka, and Illumi's misfortune that the two had run into each other, before it turned into Illumi's good luck. Hisoka, at the time, had given Illumi the 'in' he needed to complete a rather, runaround assassination. The target had been intelligent enough to have multiple doubles who went out in public in his place, but in private…

Hisoka licked his lips and with a single tap to each of the card houses, sent them to collapsing atop the covers. He watched them fall with a thralling ecstasy, only to be pulled away by the knock on his door.

* * *

Stretching the cramps from her legs, Tsutae pushed herself up from the hard floor and ran a hand through her hair. Stepping slowly, to allow the blood to reflow through her numb legs, Tsutae made a beeline for the shower, turning the tap and standing under the cold spray of water until she was soaked from head to toe.

Water dripped into her eyes and skewed her vision as she stripped out of her clothing. Tsutae discarded the garments onto the floor just outside of the shower and washed her hair with vigor. A few moments after thoroughly washing the shampoo from her long hair, Tsutae switched off the taps and wrapped a towel around her body.

Carelessly trekking her way to the rarely used bedroom, Tsutae walked by the bed and nearly overlooked the small corner of the sheet out of place. She paused and looked closer. _That wasn't right_, Tsutae thought, _the bed should be perfectly made as always_…

_**NO!**_

Tsutae's green eyes flew wide and panic seized her heart, causing the blood pumping organ to race. Tsutae reached for the sheet and yanked the cover up, followed by lifting the mattress and staring down at nothing more than the wooden boards used to support the mattress.

_**WHERE WAS IT?!**_

Fumbling with her hands, Tsutae began to pray there was maybe a hidden compartment or something the book could have fallen into. The longer she searched, the more she knew it was no longer where she had placed it.

Tsutae finally realized how Hisoka had known so much about her. She had practically _told_ him with her _own writing_.

Gnawing her lower lip to keep from screaming her outrage and humiliation, Tsutae rocketed back onto her feet and marched forth from her room, her blazing eyes set solely on a single goal; the room of a certain spikey, red headed asshole.

* * *

With a solid kick, her heel connecting between the doorknob and the frame, Tsutae broke the lock on Hisoka's bedroom door. She marched down the identical hallway and into the sitting room which also mirrored the one in her own room. _God it's like walking around a freakin' hotel_, the back of Tsutae's mind snidely commented.

The girl was too pissed to really pay much attention to her mental voice as she reached the end of the hallway and barely stopped herself from marching further and punching the man she so desperately wanted to torture.

Hisoka, sitting calming on the couch, was creating yet another card tower. This one was as large as the earlier three combined and then some. He smiled, completely ignoring the anger rolling off of Tsutae in waves. Having not yet looked up at her, Hisoka completed his house of cards and sat back.

His smile was wiped from his features and replaced with a look more akin to a predator than anything human. Tsutae, in her rampage, had forgotten that she was wrapped in a short, white towel. He licked his lips, enjoying the view of her uncovered legs. The towel was wrapped about her torso in such a way that Hisoka could see the curve of her sides and could admire her crossed arms that were pushing up her small chest.

His yellow eyes narrowed, thinking of many things he could do to this girl who so willingly and _stupidly_ appeared before him in such a vulnerable state. Without any coverings besides the towel, there was no conceivable way Hisoka could think of for Tsutae to hide a weapon. She had also never displayed much inclination in the use of _nen_, which left Hisoka to believe the only weapon the girl would use (if she was going to attack him like she so desperately seemed too) would be her claws.

"Tae-chan… What, _intriguing_ apparel. Is this going to become a new trend hmm~?" His blasé attitude, coupled with his intensive gaze, finally got through to Tsutae and she looked down at herself. Although Tsutae was not as a rule self-conscious, there was something about looking like this in front of Hisoka that made her deeply regret her actions.

Unfolding her arms and instead using them to clutch the top hem of the towel in the attempt to stop him from seeing too much, Tsutae tried to retain the hold on her anger.

"Where is it you bastard." She growled out.

"Whatever are you referring to ne~?"

"Don't play innocent; you know _precisely _what I want from you." Tsutae's hands trembled as she struggled to keep them gripping the towel instead of the man's throat. He smiled coyly, continuing his act.

"Tae~chan… The conversation cannot move forward if you don't care to share what it is that you are looking for. And why you would think _I_ of all people had it?" Bringing his hand up to rest against the arm of the couch and hold his chin, Tsutae involuntarily stepped forward.

She would have travelled closer if not for Hisoka's blood lust tainting the air and completely smothering Tsutae's, which could be described as pitiable in comparison. Blinking, Tsutae felt the blood lust recede just as quickly as it had spread.

Tsutae muttered a curse beneath her breath and forcibly calmed herself. Force was not a way to make this man give her what she wanted. If not for being enraged, Tsutae would have known this from the start and she may have already been on her way by now.

"Hisoka," she started, "please return it to me." Tsutae's green eyes looked directly into his yellow ones, and she allowed her feelings to show. Hoping that the vulnerability he saw would distract him, Tsutae shifted her hands to that a full set of her fingers was hidden from his sharp gaze. Contorting her hidden hand to become claws, Tsutae suppressed her rising killing intent and watched Hisoka's movements carefully for an opening.

"_Tsk, tsk _Tsutae. You are as transparent as you are exposed." His voice was no longer playful. He was actually… serious. Tsutae felt herself swallow and willed her legs not to move. Every instinct was now screaming for her to slowly back away; running would only entice the beast to chase.

"H-hisoka." Tsutae's voice wavered, watching the other teen slowly push to his feet and stalk towards her. He moved slowly, confident her fear would keep her paralyzed and unable to run. He was having too much fun at the moment for it to end so soon.

Hisoka's tongue ran across the bottom of his top lip. He really did enjoy his new toy. She was almost as comparably fun as her cousin. Hisoka's face dampened as he wondered if it truly was fair to compare the two. They were both entertaining in their own ways, if asked to choose a favourite between them Hisoka would not be able to choose either one.

Working her mouth in the attempt at speaking a comprehensible sentence, Tsutae finally managed a tiny,

"W-w-what?" in a soft, squeaky voice. Hisoka leaned his body closer to Tsutae's and the girl could not hear anything over the pounding of her heart. Blood rushed through her ears and, without realizing, her breath has stopped. Her vision began to narrow as black swam in Tsutae's peripheral. Hisoka said nothing. He saw what his proximity to the girl did, and he was relishing in the feeling.

He drew out the moment. Keeping his face close to Tsutae's, Hisoka blew against the girl's ear and watched delighted as her eyes closed and a shiver went down her spine. Smiling, he whispered,

"Tae~chan…" Hisoka's finger circled Tsutae's naval, tracing around her lower body until he reached the small of her back, all the while the girl's breathing had hitched and a brilliant blush rose up from her chest to her cheeks. "Here."

His voice was instantly cold as he leaned away from her warm body and held out the thing she had been seeking; a small, bound, black book. There was no writing on the outside cover or spine. Nothing to identify what it truly was.

Slowly opening her eyes as Hisoka retreated, Tsutae did not know how to react. Her heart rate and breathing weren't slowing. Her body was hot. Her mind was screaming to run. And Hisoka was standing serenely in front of her, like he was completely unaffected, as he held out her journal.

"Was this not what you wanted? Here Tae-chan, take it." Hisoka offered the book to her once more, and this time she reached out shakily to grasp it. The other hand continued to clutch the towel so it would not fall.

Turning his back, he went back to the coffee table, where the house of cards still stood, and Hisoka knocked it over so he could gather the cards. He was acting like the whole thing had not affected him, but in truth, he was barely leashing his blood lust. Her expression, her actions, her _appearance_, it was all beginning to soak through the magician's skin. If she stayed too much longer, Hisoka wasn't entirely sure she would survive. And asides from losing an amusing toy, he did not want to think of the repercussions killing a Zoldyck might have on his relationship with Illumi. The assassin _had_ threatened him once before not to interfere with his family. That had been the first time Hisoka had commented on Illumi's youngest brother Killua. Apparently Illumi was _very_ protective of the boy, and to a lesser degree the rest of his family, extended included.

Tsutae was still in shock at the abrupt changes in Hisoka. But since she had what she had originally come to get… The younger teen made a hasty retreat while Hisoka's back was still turned and nearly bolted at top speed to her bedroom.

* * *

Inside the confines of her room, the first thing Tsutae did was shower again. She scrubbed at her skin until it turned red and she could finally forget the feeling of Hisoka's body heat against her. He had been… Hisoka had…

Her face flamed. Tsutae's thoughts were so confused that she could barely keep them straight. No one had ever been so close to her like that; no one had ever really been _close_ to Tsutae unless they were inflicting pain on her body.

Her experiences with Hisoka for the past few days had been so new. Tsutae was struggling with them. Were they good experiences to have? Or should she be more wary and avoid the magician? And, what would happen when she was forced to leave?

Vanessa's note still floated in the back of Tsutae's mind… Her uncle. Why was she being sent to the main house? What would happen to her there? Would she survive?

Once she left Heaven's Arena, would Tsutae ever see Hisoka again? Despair filled the young woman… Did she _want_ to leave the magician? Or would she disobey her family and _stay_ with him?

Would he let her stay with him, if that was what she wanted?

The previous lukewarm water turned as cold as ice. Tsutae exited the shower and quickly dried off, changing into a pair of jeans and a long sleeved dark purple top. Snatching the reclaimed journal from the bathroom counter, Tsutae flipped through the pages absently until she came to the last entry.

She hadn't written in this journal since she was twelve years old. One look also showed the writing was not _hers_.

Was it Hisoka's?

* * *

_A/N: Just wanted to say thanks to those who have reviewed/favourited/followed. I was nervous as to how people would take this story since I think it is a little bit different from my normal fics, but the positive feedback has helped me feel more confident with posting the new chapters. I really owe you guys! But I also owe myself sleep, so good night! *waves*_


	3. Day 1

_A/N: I'm sorry this chapter took a while longer than I thought. I had serious writer's block until about... six hours ago. Please enjoy, and I don't think this chapter is OVERLY bad, but there is blood and... um, nakedness. Nothing graphic, but I felt I needed to warn._

* * *

With trepidation, Tsutae clutched at the handle of her one and only bag. The contents of said bag were her few pieces of clothing taken from the Heaven's Arena, and her black journal. After having read Hisoka's scrawled message over and over until Tsutae was positive she had memorized it in its entirety, the page had been torn free and burned. Now it was nothing more than scattered ash in the wind.

With a final gulp in an attempt to moisten her parched throat, Tsutae dropped her bag and faced the Testing Gates. They were still as tall and imposing as the first time she had laid eyes on the stone structure. Only now, they seemed to hold so much more evil, so much more uncertainty and fear. What would the other side reveal this time?

At the young age of four, Tsutae had only managed to open the first door, which weighed a combined total of four tonnes. That had marked her first and only visit to the main house in her life. Now, at the age of sixteen, how many doors could she open?

Bracing her hands against the rough stone, Tsutae gritted her teeth and prepared to push with all her strength.

"What do you think you're doing?"

Tsutae spun about on her heel, bringing her hands up in defense to face an older man with graying hair on the sides of his head. He smiled affectionately at the young woman, holding his hands loosely behind his back.

"Well, if it's not Tsutae-chan!" Walking forward slowly, at the same bringing his hands into view to show the scared girl he was unarmed, he stopped only when he was less than five feet away. Nothing about him seemed threatening, but Tsutae was not so sure she could trust a man who seemed to know her name. The other question was what was he doing so close to the main house? "Hehehe, you don't remember me? My name is Zebro, I'm Mike's handler."

"Zeb…ro…san?" Tsutae repeated slowly, knowing the name was familiar but unable to bring any memories forth. Zebro nodded encouragingly.

"I greeted you upon your arrival here years ago, when Mistress Vanessa brought you and young master Hakka to visit the main family."

A light bulb seemed to go off in Tsutae's brain at the reminder. It had been nearly twelve years since their last visit, and Tsutae had almost forgotten everything that had happened that one time, but there were some things she never wanted to forget. One of them would be Zebro's kindness towards her, giving her encouragement when faced with the daunting task of opening the large imposing doors of the Testing Gate.

"Zebro-san!" Tsutae shouted happily, throwing her arms around the older man in an embrace. "I'm so sorry! I can't believe I forgot. You were so kind to me back then. I'm amazed you didn't forget me after all this time."

Patting her back, Zebro extracted himself while still smiling affectionately.

"I do not receive many guests Tsutae-chan, and it is my job to remember the members of the family which employs me."

"But… I'm nothing more than a part of the minor family; you don't need to force yourself to remember me."

"Hehehe, it's no trouble at all. It was a pleasure to meet you back then. May I ask what you are doing here now? I received no word from the main house of your visiting."

"Um," Tsutae looked down at her running shoes, "I was sent to train, with m-my uncle."

Zebro said nothing more as he saw the disheartened look on the young girl's face. He remembered hearing about Vanessa as a child from the former gatekeeper, how she always acted in the attempt to beat her elder brother, and he could only image the heights of her expectations for her children.

Being sent her by her mother… Tsutae must have felt like nothing more than a burden instead of a Zoldyck.

"Why don't you try to open the gate? Let's see how strong you have become." Zebro gently placed his hands on Tsutae's shoulders and turned her until they both faced the massive stone slabs. "Before you could only open the first. Try, try, let us see the number of doors you can open now."

Taking in a deep breath, Tsutae stepped forward to place her hands once more on each side of the center seam. Zebro gave her some distance, silently watching and encouraging her like he had done years ago. It was remarkable to see such a difference in her. Though time had passed, and brought many changes, Zebro could still see the little girl Tsutae had once been. Terrified of failing, yet being able to push forward and show herself just how strong she really was. Zebro admired Tsutae for that.

It was a difficult thing to be a female in the Zoldyck family. Yet… To Zebro's mind, she may yet be the strongest of them all.

* * *

At first the doors of the Testing Gate seemed to refuse to budge, and the more Tsutae pushed, the more her arms began to feel weighed down. Zebro held his breath.

Then, just as Tsutae was sure her strength would no longer last, the gates slowly creaked open. No longer able to open only the first, Tsutae continued to strain and forced open up to the fifth door.

Panting heavily, Tsutae stepped back to catch her breath and allowed the doors to automatically swing close. She was now standing back in her original place, outside the main Zoldyck's property. Zebro clapped his hands, smiling as though his own daughter had opened the gates instead of a girl related to his employer's family.

Standing absolutely still and attempting to catch her lost breath, Tsutae could not help but allow her thoughts to wander to her older cousin. How many doors was he able to open? Could he open all seven… could he only open six? Or was Illumi, for once, on her level and only capable of opening the fifth?

_Somehow_, Tsutae's brow furrowed as she thought about her cousin, somehow she doubted Illumi would _ever_ be on her level. He always seemed a step above her, no matter what.

And why wouldn't he be? Illumi was a member of the _main_ family; Tsutae could only ever hope to play second fiddle.

Shaking her head, she turned with a forced smile to Zebro.

"Well done Tsutae-chan!"

"Thanks Zebro-san," Tsutae hooked a portion of her loose black hair behind her ears and glanced down at her bag, "I should be going though. I can't keep uncle waiting."

"Oh, of course, of course, you can't keep the master waiting." Zebro smiled politely and made his way back to the small security building.

Tsutae picked up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder, and once more forced open the fifth door. Waiting to greet her on the other side was an enormous silver wolf. His beady black eyes trained on Tsutae, who froze in fear. His nose twitched, scenting both the air and her. It wasn't long before he moved on, making his way through the forest and allowing Tsutae to breathe easier.

With a mixture of relief and awe, Tsutae grasped tightly at her bag's handle and turned to the path, which would (hopefully) lead her to the main house, only to nearly jump out of her skin again.

Standing not that far away was a hulking male figure who possessed silver hair to his shoulders. His muscled arms were crossed in front of a broad chest, making Tsutae feel overly small in comparison. The set expression on his face seemed to read: _One false move and I will kill you on the spot_.

Friendly reception? Nope, far from. _Welcome to the Zoldyck family_, Tsutae thought bitterly before masking her voice in an overly sweet tone to hide the majority of her fear.

"U-uncle Silva?" Repressing her urge to flinch upon hearing the crack in her voice, Tsutae boldly straightened up and glared directly into her uncle's eyes.

Silva's own piercing blue gaze trained on his niece, wasting no time in sizing Tsutae up.

"Zoldyck, Tsutae," he intoned, it was not a question.

"Y-yes sir."

"Come." Silva turned his back and began a brisk walking pace up the trail. Without hesitating, Tsutae followed, though more at a jog than a brisk walk. Tsutae had truly forgotten the fact that her uncle was _tall_.

* * *

"Strip."

"Wha-?!" Tsutae stumbled to a halt, and her face flamed the more she stared in horror at her uncle's broad, purple-clothed back. She had followed obediently all the way from the main gate to now. Her voice had been silent as the two had followed the well-travelled dirt path, never asking a single question though her brain had been burning with them once the shock of her mother's note had passed.

_Why had her mother sent her here?_

_And why had her uncle agreed?_

"I will only repeat myself this once, as you are expected to obey without delay or hesitation. Strip." Silva turned from where he had been looking to face his niece. He noted the blood pooling beneath the skin of her cheeks, her fists clutching the fabric of her shirt above her stomach, and her eyes flitted from one item to another.

The entire room was similar, in a creepy sort of way, to the room in which Tsutae was trained in when she was younger, if it was three times smaller in size. The stone walls blocked out all possible natural light, as no windows had been included in the design. In each of the four corners were iron stoves, showing the small size of the space, they produced large quantities of heat with minimal light. The room could be turned into something similar to a sauna so long as the wooden door behind Tsutae was closed.

At the moment though it was open, letting in cold air to press against Tsutae's back and keep her body temperature balanced.

The rest of the room was in varying depths of shadows; obscuring anything else Tsutae could have possibly seen. And though she had followed her uncle through the dimly lit hallways of the main house, Tsutae's eyes were not fully adjusted yet.

However, Silva did not seem to have the same problem as he stared her down. His blue eyes burned into Tsutae's green ones until she mentally crumbled under the weight and slowly began to shed her clothing.

It wasn't so much the discomfort of being naked in front of someone, Tsutae didn't care about that; it was the fact that being naked meant she was fully exposed. There would be nothing to protect, shield, or cover her body. Her weapons (though few) would have to be surrendered.

Maybe, if her uncle was smaller, Tsutae could have a possible chance in defending herself physically, but as it was… She would just have to allow her body to face whatever fate her uncle had in store, it was inevitable.

Tsutae kicked her running shoes off, feeling the cold stone against her bare feet. How was it still so cold when the air was starting to burn in her lungs? Next to hit the floor was Tsutae's shirt, swiftly followed by her jeans. Both were kicked to the side to join her shoes. Now…

Tsutae hesitated. Dressed in only a bra and panties, she was still somewhat armed. Attached to her left calf was a leather sheath, home to a small five inch dagger. There were another two same sized sheaths on her right calf, but they housed blades without hilts – they were thinner, meant to be thrown, and each sheath held two blades. There was a small pouch sewn to the inside of her bra that held small packets of strong paralytic poison, but barely enough to take down her uncle.

Satisfied that she was complying, albeit slower than Silva would have tolerated from his own sons, he turned once more to face the wall. It had been years since this particular room had been used, not since the Killua had been born. Reaching out one hand, Silva traced over the many tools there. He was going to start slow and measure his niece's pain tolerance. Though Vanessa had contacted him with this request, and Silva had grudgingly accepted it since Kikyo was ecstatic at the prospect of seeing her niece again, he was not about to rely on Vanessa's assessment of her daughter.

* * *

_The large doors were thrown open with little noise, and Silva's two large black dogs sprang to their feet. Snarling, with saliva dripping hungrily, they crouched low in preparation to pounce at their master's command._

"_Kerberos, Cerberus, heel." The dogs obeyed the voice of the intruder, lowering themselves to the floor and resting their heads on their front paws._

_Silva watched without expression as his younger sister waltzed into the room. Vanessa was dressed in a deep purple cheongsam to her ankles; her black hair fell straight to her hips and swayed as she walked. She did not appear very happy, and Silva had learned when his sister was not happy, _he_ was about to become unhappy._

"_Brother." Vanessa stopped short as she came to the edge of the large pillow covered couch-like seat Silva enjoyed lounging on. He was sitting in a half crossed legged position with on knee propped up and his arm resting across it. Without greeting his sister, Silva called his dogs back with a piercing whistle. "Brother, I have a request."_

_Leaning back, Silva waited for his sister to continue._

"_My daughter is… lacking as an assassin," Vanessa's features contorted, as though the confession was physically painful, "and she is beginning to insult the Zoldyck name. I request she be sent here to be trained by you and father until she is at an acceptable level, or dead."_

"_And what about Hakka, your son?" Silva inquired. If one child is coming, why not test the level of both?_

"My_ son does not require any further training. He is fully capable of becoming the heir."_

"_Killua is already the heir, father and I have both consented to this Vanessa and you are fully aware we will not reconsider. Hakka may be older, but Kil's potential is greater." Silva held back the agitation he held towards his sister. Would she never cease trying to place Hakka in line for the next family head? The only possible way would be for Kil to be killed and Illumi as well._

_Sighing, Silva was about to speak when the doors were once more thrown open. Kerberos and Cerberus raised their heads but soon lowered them when familiar, clicking, footsteps hastily made their way into the room._

"_Vanessa darling!" Kikyo exclaimed happily as she neared her older sister-in-law. "Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"_

"_Hello Kikyo! I was just coming to see you!" Vanessa turned to greet the slightly younger woman who had a preference for Western style clothing opposed to her own Eastern choices. "However, I was delayed due to needing to speak to my brother," here Vanessa paused to shift her features into a somewhat sad/defeated appearance, "You see, my daughter – you remember Tsutae, yes? – her progress is not going well and I've come to Silva to ask his help in training her. I'm afraid if something is not done about this soon, she will drag our highly earned reputation through the dirt."_

"_How awful!" Kikyo gasped, opening her fan to cover her mouth, "Of course Silva will be delighted to help you dear! How could we refuse?" Though her tone mirrored her sister-in-law's, Kikyo's hidden smirk said she was only too happy about this turn of events. Since they were teenagers, Kikyo had been trying to best Vanessa – not even marrying her brother and earning the position of the Zoldyck matriarch had done it. But now, with her sons' superior abilities, and her own middle child being picked as the next heir, Kikyo was starting to slowly surpass her sister-in-law. "Right dear?"_

_With a sigh, Silva straightened his legs in preparation to stand._

"_Very well sister, we will take control of Tsutae's training."_

_Clapping her hands together in front of her heart, Vanessa turned her attention from her brother to her sister-in-law, "Now that everything is settled, shall we have some tea Kikyo? I've missed Gotoh's tea since I moved away; does he still make mix the leaves himself?"_

_Silva watched as the two females left, and only when the doors remained closed did he rub at his temples in an attempt to stave off the coming headache. Women… if nothing else, _they_ would be the death of him one day._

* * *

Tsutae bent down to remove her weapons, holding the sheaths in her hands for a moment before resolutely tossing them to land on her discarded clothing. She looked up through her black bangs to see her uncle had turned once more to face the wall, paying her no attention whatsoever.

With a deep sigh, Tsutae shed her two remaining garments swiftly. She stood naked as the day she was born, feeling the cold seep into the soles of her feet while the rest of her body fought not to break out in sweat. Tsutae folded her arms across her chest, blocking as much from view as she could from Silva. Though she was comfortable in her skin, there was still a little odd feeling in the bottom of Tsutae's stomach.

_Maybe it's because I don't know what to expect… Mother's sessions were predictable, if brutal…_

Silva advanced closer to Tsutae, kicking both her clothes and weapons far from either's reach. He held in his hand a whip, similar to the one Vanessa had used on them growing up. She always did favor a whip than any other weapon…

_I guess it won't be so different,_ Tsutae thought as her uncle stood stoically, assessing how she stood.

"Lower your arms. You are not allowed to fall." Silva dispassionately told her, walking around the young girl until he squarely faced her back. The skin was already heavily marked with crisscrossing silver-white lines of old scars and as he focused more Silva saw some were still pinkish-purple, recently healed injuries then.

Holding back majority of his strength, Silva snapped the whip forward.

The tip sliced into the girl's naked skin, and blood quickly pooled up from the wound. Silva watched as the red liquid trailed lazily down the curve of Tsutae's spine. Since she was showing no noticeable reaction, he decided to use more strength on the next lash.

A second red line appeared on Tsutae's skin. She felt the tip bite in, deeper and faster, but still she didn't physically react. This was a level she could deal with. Whippings were a daily exercise in Tsutae's life, by this point she was all but immune to the sting of the biting leather. Her biggest concern was if Silva would continue long past the point that she had lost a dangerous amount of blood. Vanessa had a habit of doing that; it sometimes amazed Tsutae that she had not bled to death at this point.

Another sting told Tsutae her uncle had struck her again. It wasn't long after that that Silva had found a rhythm, and Tsutae's breathing synchronized so she was constantly being struck when she exhaled.

Watching dispassionately as his whip constantly bit into the flesh of his niece, Silva was slowly growing a little respect for the girl. Her back was coated in open flesh and blood; it coated her body like a second outfit, trialing over the skin of her butt and down the length of her legs to pool at her feet. As more blood poured, Silva began to watch for the telltale signs that she was about to collapse. Though he was testing her pain tolerance, he was by no means willing to let her suffer severe blood loss at this point.

Tsutae clamped her eyes shut, but refused to tense her muscles and give away the pain that was slowly seeping into her consciousness. Standing was becoming difficult, she could feel her body wanted to sway and collapse. Head spinning and teeth clamped shut, Tsutae waited to feel the umpteenth strike against her skin.

But Silva held back.

He had noticed the twitch of her left hand, before Tsutae had forced it to remain still again. It was about time to stop. Silva paced forward, noting that her complexion was paler than he had first thought.

"We're done for today." Silva walked past his niece to replace the whip to its position on the wall. "You are free to remain in your room until dinner if you wish. Tomorrow we will do more."

"Yes sir." Tsutae responded, her voice subdued and bordering on a whisper. She was forcing herself to stay where she was. She had opened her eyes at the feeling of her uncle walking past her and her vision had instantly gone hazy and spotted with black dots. It didn't take much after that for the edges to ring black and her brain to start spinning again.

Once Silva had surrendered the whip to its place, he left Tsutae without another glance. She would find her own way through the house. She would have too; if those wounds were not treated swiftly, blood loss and infection were bound to set in.

Tsutae kept her teeth clenched and slowed her breathing, only starting to move when she was positive it could be done without winding up against the stone floor.

Her feet recorded her progress across the stones in the form of bloody footprints…

"Who are you?" asked a voice from the open doorway.

Tsutae, who had just reached the pile of her clothing and weapons, was too worn out to force herself to turn and see who had spoken. The voice sounded young, so it probably belonged to one of her cousins, and regardless if it did or not, Tsutae was in no condition to defend herself from any threat. Forcing her muscles to bend and contract, Tsutae reached for her clothes and painfully began the process of stepping into her jeans.

"Ne~ I asked your name." The voice asked again, having never moved closer. Tsutae continued to dress, breathing ragged from the effort but too stubborn to walk through the halls of the main house naked. "Hey! I'm asking you a question! Answer me! Answer me! Answer me!"

He continued to repeat those last two words, like a broken record, until Tsutae could no longer grit her teeth and hope he went away. Snapping closed the clasp on her jeans, Tsutae pivoted to face the little brat. It was too fast a movement, forcing her to press the heel of her right hand against her eye socket and glare with the other at the boy who couldn't have been older than five.

Her eyes widened at the child. His hair was black like hers, but only reached to his shoulder. There were multiple knots in the unruly strands, but that only seemed to endure him more to Tsutae. Something about him seemed…

"Aren't you going to answer onee-san?" He asked as Tsutae's mouth opened and shut without making any sound. Sealing her lips on the matter, Tsutae turned her attention to the floor and her remaining belongings.

Tsutae still had the daunting task of struggling into her shirt, though by now it was all but moot. Her wounds had already begun to close, and the movements needed to get into a shirt would just force the skin to stretch and reopen… Tsutae could not risk the additional blood loss at this point.

"Onee-san, why is your back pink and red?" The child asked randomly, reaching out a hand to touch Tsutae. She caught his hand before he could poke at the wounds, glaring angrily until he smiled. Softening her voice, Tsutae carefully crouched down to the small boy's height.

"Because onee-san is hurt, and it would hurt her more to touch it, okay? Promise onee-san you won't touch."

"I promise!" He smiled again and this time Tsutae smiled back a little.

"Good." Pushing herself up, Tsutae sucked in a breath as she felt the skin on her back stretch, nearly tearing the new fragile skin layers open.

"Is onee-san going to stay for a while?" The boy asked after a moment of silence in which Tsutae slowly gathered her possessions. The shirt was wrapped around her weapons, and held so it covered most of her chest. It took until Tsutae straighten once more and looked down at her cousin before she could answer, her head was starting to spin constantly and she wouldn't be able to remain standing much longer. Tsutae needed to find some place to lie down for an hour or two… especially if she was required to join her uncle and his family for dinner.

"I… I don't know. Maybe."

At that the boy frowned, apparently dissatisfied with Tsutae's answer.

"Onee-san should stay as long as she wants." He crossed his arms, finally drawing Tsutae's attention to his overall appearance. He was wearing a grey sweater zipped completely up and a pair of normal blue jeans, though his shoes were missing.

"I think so too." Tsutae agreed.

"Do you know where your room is? I can show you if you want."

"Thanks for the offer, I think I would get lost on my own." Tsutae released one of her hands from her shirt and the boy placed his own in it. She could not help but notice the difference in their hands; his were so small and warm compared to hers… how many lives had she taken with the hand which now clutched his?

How many lives had _those_ small hands already ended? How many would they one day end?

It was a sobering thought.

As the two walked from the heat engulfed room, Tsutae asked a question of her own, "I'm Tsutae, your cousin. Will you tell me your name?"

"I'm Alluka!"

* * *

_A/N: Yes I wrote in Alluka. No I have no idea why, nor how it's going to affect future chapters. I'm in the dark as much as the rest of you. Thank you for reading/reviewing/favouriting/following ^^_


	4. Day 1: Evening

_A/N: More nakedness and blood... nothing graphic, though it might grow worse in later chapters. I'm not sure yet since I know what I **want** to put but there's a difference between the pictures in my mind and translating those into words... Please enjoy at any rate ^^_

* * *

"Here onee-san! This is your room!" Alluka cheerily called from the end of the hallway, pointing at a heavy looking wooden door that looked like the fifty hundred others they had passed by already. Tsutae was leaning her weight against the wall, fingers attempting to dig into the stonework to keep herself upright. The dizziness had persisted throughout the trek from whatever room Tsutae had been in, to wherever the hell they were now. She had lost all direction after turning seamlessly endless corners, and the light-headedness she suffered when walking up the stairs hadn't helped.

Pushing away from her only support, Tsutae stumbled down the rest of the hallway to rejoin Alluka, who had grown impatient and entered already.

She found him happily bouncing up and down on the mattress of the double bed. The room was larger than the one in her family's house, not that it was all that shocking to notice. Contrary to all Tsutae had seen up until now, the walls of this room were not bare rock and mortar but painted a soft purple. Tsutae was too tired to determine what the furniture was made out of; all she registered was that the materials were dark.

Alluka stopped his energetic bouncing, plopping onto his butt and watching his new friend with a curious expression. His hands were sandwiched between his knees, leaning forward when Tsutae failed to raise her head and look at him.

"Are you okay onee-san?" He asked.

"Uh… yeah. I'm fine Alluka." Tsutae forced a smile onto her features and closed her eyes to mask the pain before she raised her face.

With a deep breath she walked into the room, amazed that it looked… normal. The room was bathed in light and there were even windows showing the sun sinking behind the mountain top. Ever so slowly Tsutae ran her hand along the cool top of the tall dresser as she passed by it, making her way to the bed where Alluka still sat, his eyes never leaving her.

"Hmm…" He hummed as Tsutae sat heavily next to him. His eyes darted to the floor, to see faint blood traces, before darting back to Tsutae's profile. Her arms were still clutching the bundle of her shirt and weapons in front of her chest, both rising and falling as Tsutae breathed. Her forehead glistened with sweat, plastering small portions of her bangs to her cheeks. Alluka leaned back a little to see that there were still small rivulets of blood flowing from the deeper wounds, the rest had stopped bleeding and most of the once red liquid had dried to a dull brown. He wanted to poke the skin, but remembered that Tsutae had told him that that would hurt her. He didn't want to hurt his onee-san.

Hopping off the bed, Alluka spun so he was facing away from Tsutae, hands clasped together behind his back. He turned his head up and stared at the undecorated ceiling, not wanting to leave yet but knowing he wasn't even supposed to be talking to her.

Looking over his shoulder, he grinned, showing a set of perfect teeth.

"I have to go now onee-san, but I hope you see me again." Alluka raced to the door, only pausing when Tsutae called out,

"Bye Alluka!" and raised one hand in a half wave. She smiled sadly as he completely disappeared behind the closing door. Shifting her weight, Tsutae groaned as the pain was suddenly in the forefront of her mind.

_Why the fuck did whippings have to still hurt?_

Tsutae's brain pounded behind her closed eyelids in time to her heartbeat and the pulsing heat coming from her back. If she didn't do something fast, she would never be able to make it through dinner. Or even _to_ dinner. And without any of her usual poultices the wounds would take twice as long to heal over enough so there was no risk of them reopening.

She peeled open her eyes, automatically seeking out a door that could lead to the en suite bathroom and the promise of a hot, stinging shower.

* * *

Hisoka tapped a finger against the top of the café table. He was back in his favourite café, sitting in the same seat as the time he had been here with his Tae-chan. An untouched white ceramic cup atop a matching saucer was immediately beside his tapping digit, rapidly cooling. The whole room was crowded and noisy, bustling with business. This type of atmosphere never bothered Hisoka. Except for today. For today he was agitated. But there was no _reason_ for him to be agitated. He had known that Tae would be leaving; he had read the note himself, but yet…

_The game was only just starting_…

Hisoka frowned.

This was not the first time his game had been interrupted, but it _was_ the first time to happen with such an interesting fruit. It was almost as if he had been cheated of his fun and Hisoka didn't like it when he was cheated.

With a heavy sigh, Hisoka hoisted himself to his feet and walked out.

He walked past the blue haired hostess, ignoring her overly cheerful,

"Thank you for coming and I hope to see you soon," spiel, and walking down the sidewalk. The people outside began to give the red haired magician space as his agitation seeped into his aura, spiking and sending chills along everyone's spines. His face reflected the look of a man who was about to commit a murder, and that was _exactly_ what Hisoka wanted.

He needed release.

The _easiest _way to get it was to simply return to Heaven's Arena and sign up for a fight, but easy fights were not what Hisoka sought. No, he needed something that would satisfy him completely until he could be returned to his alluring Tae-chan.

Unable to hold back, Hisoka used his true speed to go to the one place he had discovered which never disappointed him. To the average person, it would have appeared that he had disappeared. The strangely dressed magician was present one second, and in the blink of an eye he was gone. He disappeared down an alley, turning his back on the still bustling streets and made his way until reaching a misleading looking dead end.

Smiling, Hisoka moved close to the right hand wall and with a simple nen coated hand the magician forced open a revolving brink wall to step into a place he had come to think of as a home away from the Heaven's Arena.

The open floor was large, spanning several hundred feet on all sides and filled with thousands of people. Large areas of the floor were partitioned off to serve as rings where fighters came together in a no-holds match. Unlike Heaven's Arena, it was fight to the death. No points. No time limits. No referees. Any mistake you make in these rings could end with your death.

Hisoka inhaled, feeling his own bloodlust stir as the noise of the place soothed his agitation. Thousands of people were shouting; placing bets, encouraging their picks to win and others calling for a finishing move. Participants and spectators alike walked between the rings, avoiding the spray of blood and spit and forcing through the thick crowds when needed. If any of them had a problem, it was settled in the ring.

Hisoka grinned as he saw the fight in the first ring. It was nearly over; one man had already lost the use of his arm, while the other's chest was slashed to ribbons. He walked over, forcing his way through the crowd to get a front row view as the man with only one arm finally managed to land a killing blow to his opponent; a deep, blood gushing, slash across his chest reaching up to his throat. If he was still alive after the shock, he would die soon enough since with each beat of his heart more blood pumped out, arcing beautifully across his chest and the floor.

Moving on, Hisoka looked eagerly around him. Though many were ready to risk their lives in a fight, there were also those who were still cautious when choosing their opponents. The first time Hisoka had made it here; one man had made the mistake of dragging Hisoka into the ring. It wasn't until he had lost his head, literally, that he recognized the threat Hisoka posed. Those who had been there to witness Hisoka's first fight had decided to leave him alone until they were positive they could fight him and win.

So now, if Hisoka wanted a good fight here, he would have to be the one to start it. And right now, that was all Hisoka wanted to do. Stirring up mischief and trouble was half the fun of being a magician after all.

* * *

Tsutae peeled open her eyes, unfolding the arm she had been using as a pillow, blinking the sleep from her eyes. The room was still unfamiliar, black and purple as opposed to the deep blue of her own bedroom or the white of the Heaven's Arena.

She rolled her shoulders, heat flaring up at the first movement but soon settled to a point that she could handle. With a small grunt, Tsutae forced her muscles to pull her into a cross legged sitting position on the plush double bed. The soft black sheets had been kicked to the foot after Tsutae had returned from her shower. The heat and water had caused a few of the lacerations to reopen on her back and bleed lightly, forcing her to lie on her stomach as opposed to on her side for her nap.

Though the whipping was something Tsutae was accustomed too, it had been the penetrating heat of the room which had worn her down. The whole mansion was over all warmer than the one Tsutae had grown up in. Vanessa believed that the harsh cold would help sharpen the senses of her children. The only down side being, though immune to the cold, they were more susceptible to warmer temperatures. If Tsutae's body didn't adjust fast enough, she would be useless come tomorrows torture session.

Glancing to the window, Tsutae judged it had been just under an hour that she had slept. The last portion of sun was hovering just above the top of the mountain, and it wouldn't be much longer until it completely set and the night would creep over everything.

Stretching her arms high above her head, Tsutae felt the skin of her back pull tight. When she felt nothing wet trail over her skin, it was safe to presume nothing had reopened.

Not expecting anyone to call her down for dinner, Tsutae jumped from the bed and into a defensive crouch on the floor when her door began to open of its own accord.

"Tsutae-sama?" A woman's voice asked; the door had stopped opening half way, allowing Tsutae to only see the petite, pale hand of whoever was on the other side. "I have come at Kikyo-sama's request to make sure you are suitably dressed for dinner. May I come in?"

Straightening, though no less tense to attack, Tsutae snatched one of her weapons from the floor and pulled the sheet from the bed to cover her still naked body.

"Please do." Tsutae called and watched with narrowed eyes as a woman in her early thirties entered. She walked confidently in the three inch black heels, swaying her hips like a fashion models, and acting nothing like a maid in Tsutae's house would. Dressed in a knee length black skirt and spotless white blouse, the woman only stopped when she reached the edge of Tsutae's range.

"You can put down your weapon Tsutae-sama; I am only here to assist you." Walking directly past Tsutae, the woman made for the large wardrobe and pulled open the double doors with a flourish. Watching everything the woman did, Tsutae was shocked when she pulled out a floor length cerise pink gown… with no back.

Tsutae's expression dropped and she bit her tongue as the comment, _Is this some kind of sick joke?_ sprung to mind. Of course the dress choice was deliberate. And if Tsutae was going to be staying, she would have to get used to stunts like this, their aim was to make her a better assassin, and they would toy with her at every chance they got.

"This is the dress Kikyo-sama requests," Tsutae arched an eyebrow at the word, "you wear to dinner. Do you like it Tsutae-sama?"

_Like it matters whether or not I personally like it …_

"It's beautiful." Tsutae feigned adoration, looking over the dress once more. It would easily reach to the floor, and it was made of a light material so it would be easy to move in. The color wasn't one Tsutae liked but she had to admit the style choice wasn't overly bad; long sleeved without a plunging neckline, it would hug her body to mid-thigh before flaring out in a mermaid style.

"Wonderful!" The woman announced, laying it down on the rumpled bed before making her way over to the dresser Tsutae had run her hand over when Alluka had first showed her the room. "There are many accessories to go with that dress… What do you like? Necklaces? Earrings? Bracelets? Kikyo-sama has provided everything you could possible want."

Still with a tight grip on her dagger, Tsutae released her hold on the sheet so that it fell to the floor around her feet. Her green eyes never left the woman's back as Tsutae dressed, a little awkwardly since she was only using one free hand, but the woman never turned around from her rummaging in the drawers. Only when Tsutae was dressed in the gown did the woman turn to her with a bright smile upon her face.

"That dress looks stunning Tsutae-sama." Holding up a pair of two inch black heels, one shoe in each hand, the woman asked, "Would you like to try these on?"

Tsutae walked through the open doors to find an extravagant dining room. Three large crystal chandeliers hung from the ceiling, one of which was situated directly above the mahogany table that could easily sit eleven times the size of the family.

* * *

Everyone was already seated by the time Tsutae had entered, leaving her to stand awkwardly in the cerise pink gown with all eyes on her.

At the head of the table sat her hulking figure of an uncle; Silva rested with his one elbow on the tabletop with his head resting on the knuckles of his hand. To Tsutae's mind he did _not_ look pleased at her tardiness. Sitting directly to his right sat an older man with silver hair and mustache. From what little she knew of the main family, Tsutae guessed this would be her 'Grandfather Zeno', and sitting directly to _his_ right was an obese boy of about twelve or thirteen years with greasy black hair and drool on his chin.

On the other side of Silva sat a woman in a western dress, similar to Tsutae's, but far more modest. Kikyo had worn a pale blue gown with a high collar, three-quarter sleeves that trailed to her hips, where the skirt of the dress flared out. Contrary to most fashions, since the dress was so simplistic in design, Kikyo had worn a stenciled purple sideless surcoat overtop and which ended between her knees and the floor. The last Tsutae was only able to notice after Kikyo stood and made her way to Tsutae's side.

"Tsutae-chan! I was beginning to think you would never make it dear." She pushed the younger woman forward with a hard hand on her lower back, utterly ignoring Tsutae's injuries. Shielding her pain as much as possible, Tsutae allowed her aunt to guide her to the table and didn't move due to shock as she was gestured to sit beside the last occupant; a small silver haired boy with large blue eyes. If not for the seemingly genuine smile on his face, Tsutae would have almost mistaken him for a younger Hakka.

"Don't just stand there child," Zeno chuckled, "take a seat so we can all eat."

Obediently Tsutae did so, keeping her green eyes downcast upon her plate. The food had already been portioned out, filling her plate modestly. To Tsutae, it did not look or smell appetizing, though she was surely famished by now. She had not eaten in over a day, and if not for the constant throbbing of pain in her back, which caused her stomach to churn, Tsutae was sure to have dug right in. As it was, Tsutae wasn't sure how her stomach would handle the addition of poison as she was still suffering from occasional light headedness as well.

"Before we begin," Kikyo said, stopping the large boy in his tracks with his fork posed half way to his drool-glistening lips, "why doesn't Tsutae-chan tell us a little about herself? I don't mean to place you on the spot dear, but I'm sure your cousins are somewhat curious. It's not often we have dinner guests!"

_When do you ever have just _guests_?_ Tsutae wanted to ask but figured the question would be ignored. Slowly picking up the cloth napkin, she placed it on her lap and returned the glare the young black haired boy was sending her way. Tsutae was sure he had a long way to go before he began to starve, so taking a few minutes and complying with her aunt's request wouldn't hurt anybody.

Well, it could possible hurt _her_ later on, but Tsutae's mind didn't think that far ahead.

"There isn't much to say Aunt-"

"Oh, please call me Auntie dear, it sounds so much nicer."

"-Aunt_ie_ Kikyo." Tsutae paused, eyes trailing over to her water glass. She was tempted to take a sip right now, but that would be stupid. It was better to start with the food (even though that would also be poisoned) since at least a bit of substance in her stomach would go a long way in diluting any and all toxins before they could be absorbed into her blood stream.

"Why don't you share some news about your mother than Tsutae-chan? How is Vanessa doing?" Kikyo leaned over in her chair, absently petting the head of the little boy on her left. "Oh, and surely you have something to share about your brother? Hakka was him name, yes?"

Tsutae nodded, her mind whirling on things she could possibly say. Swallowing to wet her dry throat Tsutae opened her mouth to speak, and was interrupted by the black haired boy.

"Mama," he whined, "why does it matter that she talks? Can't we eat yet?"

"How rude Mil!" Kikyo gasped, bringing her hands up to cover her lips.

"Hehehe… The boy is right, why don't we leave the chatter until the meal is done?" Zeno spoke up, raising his glass to his lips and drinking a sip. Tsutae's tongue licked at her own and felt the tightness of her throat. It was torture, knowing she should take a drink but also aware that it would be a worse mistake.

"Very well father… Kil darling, make sure to eat it all, okay?" The last was directed to the silver haired child, who eagerly shoveled a forkful of food into his mouth. Kikyo smiled indulgently before delicately taking a bit of her own food. Tsutae looked across the table and saw the three males all eating at their own paces; the one known as Mil eating at a rate Tsutae hadn't even thought was humanly possible.

"What's the matter Tsutae-chan? You haven't touched your food! A growing young woman _must_ eat."

"Of course Auntie Kikyo, I'm just not used to such a… family activity." She replied and picked up her fork.

* * *

With a malicious smile, Hisoka felt a rush as the final card in his deck, his beloved joker, sliced against the man's throat. The rest of his cards were embedded all throughout the remainder of the man's body; there was a seven of spades in his arm, a jack of diamonds in his thigh, and the ace of hearts Hisoka had lovingly aimed directly into his opponent's chest.

He had thought it was artfully appropriate.

Looking into the eyes of the crowd Hisoka took a final bow, like this had been a performance, and licked his lips as he felt his body truly relax. He walked calmly away from the still bleeding corpse, knowing he had stayed here for long enough. The body count had not only risen, but Hisoka was also feeling lethargic.

Glancing to the far wall, Hisoka saw the pile of recently killed opponents, all belonging to his matches, and smiled. It had felt good for him to finally fight like he wanted. Whenever he faced someone in the Heaven's Arena, it just didn't feel the same. They were fighting for a win, whereas Hisoka preferred to fight with his life on the line.

The magician looked away from the pile of corpses in time to step over a severed hand that had flown out of the ring two opponents ago. It was encircled in its own thin pool of blood, and would remain so until someone decided to clean up.

Leaving the quiet of the place, Hisoka re-emerged onto the streets and was immediately engulfed in the sounds of the outside world; the people and the traffic. Slanting down the brick wall of the alley, Hisoka noted that it was late evening. Full night would soon follow.

With a smile, he walked into the crowd and disappeared from the view of a certain teenage girl with pink hair. She had been watching Hisoka since he had first entered the place today. She didn't like him, but she had the feeling this was not going to be the last time she met him…

* * *

With a forced smile, Tsutae bade the Zoldycks a good night and returned tiredly to her room. Dinner had been extremely taxing, but thankfully the poison which they had used wasn't anything Tsutae's body wasn't already used to.

Walking slowly through the halls, Tsutae looked around her, losing herself in her thoughts. There were so many similarities between the main house and her family's mansion… if not for the size Tsutae was almost positive she would never get lost here. But as it was, she stopped to look back the way she had come.

Both ways were identical, long expenses of empty stone surfaces that slowly faded into dark shadows. At regular intervals she could see flickering torches, but even those slowing disappeared after a distance. Glancing either way multiple times, Tsutae finally came to the realization that she was utterly and truly lost.

"Shit," she softly cursed and continued going the way she had been. Though it wasn't long before the hair on the back of Tsutae's neck rose, and she felt someone watching her from the shadows… from the shadows _behind_ her.

Instinctually knowing all the disadvantages she was facing, Tsutae maintained her pace, keeping her eyes trained on the shadows ahead of her while monitoring the aura movements of the person behind. There was only one for sure, and since they weren't hiding their presence very well Tsutae was assuming it was one of her cousins. Could it have been the fat one from dinner? He had kept glaring at Tsutae all throughout the meal, though he hadn't spoken again.

What had his name been?

A second later the sound of loose gravel shifting brought Tsutae to a halt. That had sounded… directly behind her.

With a twist of her spine and greatly bending her knees, she avoided a strike that would have pierced her through completely. Tsutae's blue eyes darted to the side and widened when she saw, not any of her cousins, but the older man, Zeno.

A split second after Tsutae had twisted she had kicked out with her leg, aiming for the old man's head. Since her back had arched more than halfway over, instead of wasting time to straighten herself, Tsutae completed the bend and used her hands to stabilize her body as she made a full rotation. Landing flatly on her feet, her hair blocked her line of sight briefly before it settled around her shoulders.

Zeno used that brief time to get behind the girl, aiming once more for a piercing strike through her chest. And once more Tsutae managed to dodge, though this one was not as swift. She felt the tear in her arm as Zeno struck her, opening a new wound at the same time a few on her back reopened.

"Hehehe, you're pretty sharp." Zeno chuckled, standing calming with his hands tucked behind his back. Tsutae's breaths were short and sharp, it was hard for her to regain control because of the throbbing pain of her back, but her blue eyes never wavered from Zeno's black ones.

Holding her gaze with his own for a minute longer, Zeno turned on his heel and walked away, thinking that Tsutae was just like Vanessa had been at that age. This left Tsutae once more alone and lost in the hallway, and now she was in more pain than before.

Limping down the hallway, constantly shifting her weight some way or another to relieve at least a small part of the discomfort, she struggled forward. How on earth she was ever going to find her room was beyond her. Maybe it would be best for her to just curl up on the floor for a while and rest, start searching again after the pain had numbed her.

Tsutae pressed her hand against a rough stone. She was between two flickering torches, just out of reach of both pools of light. Leaning her weight against it, she slid to the floor, tucking her legs beneath her and pressing her back tight against the cool stones. Her head tilted to the left and her eyes wandered down the seemingly endless place.

Suddenly, everything seemed to crash around her. Tsutae's eyes squeezed shut as she felt the urge to cry. It was just too much right now. Everything. How was she supposed to deal with it all? First Hisoka, then Hakka with their mother's note, and now having to deal with this from the main family…

Tsutae's breath hitched as she choked down a rising sob. There was just no way…

"I just want to go back…" Tsutae whispered as her eyes and body relaxed. She had finally passed out from the mental and physical strain.

* * *

_Hello Tae-chan :)_

_I enjoyed reading about you ne~_

_Such a cute child you must have been… *sigh*_

_Tell Illu-chan I say hi and to hurry back to me ne~_

_That goes for you too my lovely fruit!_

_Xoxo ^^_

_ -Hisoka _

_XXX-XXX-XXXX_

* * *

_A/N: And there we go ^^ Chapter four is done... *can't believe it's only the fourth chapter* Man this thing is going to be longer than I originally thought. But I know it is still going to end where I want it too... just need to figure out the in between stuff is all. _

_I can't tell you when the next update will be since I have so much going on... school started up, I'm working on more than one writing project at a time, writer's block has been coming and going... oh, and if anyone knows a way to contact the Sandman - please tell him I NEED MORE SLEEP!_

_Bye ^^_


	5. Day 1: Night

_A/N: Before readers begin, I want to give credit where credit is due; meaning without **Razorblade Mistress** helping me out with Illu's part (basically helping to make him IC and improving it like a million percent) this chapter would not have been posted yet._

* * *

Sitting on the floor of his small yet empty bedroom, Alluka looked up to his left and to his right, seeing all the toys he had lining the shelf walls. Sighing, he returned his gaze to his running shoe clad feet. With his legs stretched straight out Alluka tapped his toes together and frowned. His hands were tucked between his legs again and his sweater was lying around somewhere. With his black hair still knotted, Alluka plucked at a small portion until he gave up.

He was bored.

"I wish onee-san was here…" Alluka sighed aloud, already missing his new friend.

"_You could always go visit her again."_ Nanika spoke softly.

"Hmm… Mother told me never to leave my room though." Alluka contradicted.

"_But you already broke that rule. Where's the harm in breaking it again?"_

"What if I get caught and get onee-san in trouble?"

"_You won't get caught."_ Nanika sounded so sure, so happy at the thought of getting out of the room again. She didn't really like staying cooped up, and neither did Alluka.

"But…" He tried to argue only to be cut off by an impatient,

"_No buts! You wanna see onee-san just as much as I do, so why don't we go find her?"_

"But… I don't know where she is." Alluka's face fell as he spoke the truth aloud. Tsutae could be anywhere at the moment and if he just wandered the halls in the hopes of finding her he would most likely run into his mother or one of his brothers first.

"_Nii-chan…"_ Nanika whispered longingly, and Alluka himself cheered up at the last thought.

He hopped up to rush to his bedroom door, cautiously peering out both way, and only when he was positive it was vacant, raced down the familiar stones and made directly to his older brother Killua's room.

Taking the twists and turns of the mazelike stone hallways with no difficulty, for he had been going this route since the day he learned to crawl, Alluka paused only when he thought he heard another person. He instantly pressed his back to the wall, mind frantically trying to process every little thing that could have been perceived as a threat all at once. And when the sound seemed to come closer still to where Alluka stood he jumped, using the natural handholds between the stones to reach the ceiling in no time at all.

Nails digging into the mortar, heart racing, Alluka remained hidden in the deeper shadows cast by the ceiling, out of reach of the torch light, until the sound faded away to nothing. Never seeing what caused the noise, too cautious with too little curiosity forced Alluka to relax and distribute his weight among his four limbs to land with no sound. He was sure it had come from one of his family members so he had to avoid them. If anyone but Killua or Tsutae caught Alluka out of his room he would be severely punished, and Nanika didn't like being punished.

Scurrying at top speed down the last hallway that would lead to his favourite brother's room, Alluka passed an opening that if he had turned his head, if his eyes had glanced down the seemingly never ending stone path, Alluka would have seen the slumped over shadow of his onee-san beneath a flickering torch. However, Alluka's eyes were fixated on a sole door and the happy memories which lay behind it.

* * *

"Onii-chan!" Alluka happily cried as he flung his small form into the open arms of his older brother. Killua's face broke into a wide smile.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, laughing all the while as he tried to detangle himself from the younger black haired boy's arms.

Alluka struggled to hold onto his brother's waist, squeezing hard. The harder Alluka squeezed, the more he pushed forward into Killua, who was forced to step back to maintain his balance. Stepping too far back and managing to off balance himself anyways, the two young boys toppled backwards.

"Oof!" Alluka called as he landed on Killua's chest, a grin still on both their faces. The two brothers laughed at their position and slowly righted themselves, making their way to Killua's bed for the two to sit and talk with one another. It was rare to have a moment like this to themselves, and knowing it would be cut all too short, the two were going to make the most of it.

* * *

Silva looked up as he heard the familiar footsteps of his father enter the room. He had been sitting once more with his dogs, Kerberos and Cerberus, after leaving his family. He had also been absorbed within his thoughts, reflecting on the first session he had finished with his niece.

"Silva…" Zeno began, stopping close to where his son sat. Zeno stood evenly with his hands behind his back, and on his usually grim face was a little smile.

Reaching out a solitary hand, Silva petted the top of Cerberus's head, waiting for his father to continue on whatever train of thought he had been thinking.

"Vanessa is not seeing the true potential her daughter possesses."

"What makes you say this father?" Leaning farther forward Silva stopped petting Cerberus's head and began scratching Kerberos.

"Hehehe…" Zeno chuckled, before informing his son of his little test for his granddaughter, "She's a sharp one. I was nearly in a complete _zetsu_, but she was able to accurately sense my presence and avoided my attacks, twice."

Silva reclined once more to absorb this new information. If Tsutae was able to sense Zeno in a near complete _zetsu_ state… and she was calm enough to avoid his strikes... Silva now thought back to how she had handled herself earlier; if not for that one, miniscule, motion of her hand, Silva would have continued far past her limit.

Bringing his hand to his chin, Silva remained silent as he thought. It wasn't uncommon for his sister to over- or under-exaggerate something or someone, which meant he should never had relied on her evaluation in the first place. Tsutae had already proven she had a fairly high tolerance for pain and poison… she was on the same level as Illumi at this age. Maybe he should have insisted on bringing Hakka in too, to test and see how his skills were.

If Vanessa had underestimated her daughter's skills, she most likely over exaggerated her son's.

"What will you do Silva?" Zeno asked after some time had passed. Both of his son's dogs had lowered their heads onto their front paws and were softly breathing, nearly asleep beside their master. The sight brought forth some of Zeno's memories of Silva and Vanessa as young children, both napping and surrounded by their own dogs. It was one of the fonder memories Zeno retained from a time when his wife Kokoru had still been alive.

"I don't know father." Silva sighed as some more time had passed. "I will continue with Tsutae until I have a better idea of her potential."

Zeno nodded his head, bringing a hand up to stroke his white mustache. It was certainly a tricky situation; it always was when Vanessa was involved. Zeno too had been thinking that Hakka should be brought to the main house so his skills could be evaluated, but he held off on mentioning it since Silva wanted to focus on their current trainee.

The older man left his son to his thoughts, walking silently from the room and returning to his own for a cup of green tea.

Silva closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, thankful he had one son that could handle the incoming jobs for a while. Illumi would be returning tonight and Silva would give him the new pile of client and target files for him to review. With everything on track his son would be gone again by day break. Killua's training would have to take a back seat for a while however…

With a frown Silva refocused his thoughts onto his middle son. If Kil was going to become the heir, he could not afford a break in his training.

The Zoldyck patriarch cracked the knuckles on both hands as his thoughts lead him to the perfect solution; Heaven's Arena.

* * *

Kikyo pursed her lips as she stepped back to admire her three year old son. Kalluto was dressed a small light purple kimono with pink sakura petals in a spiral pattern.

The dark haired boy looked down and plucked at the silky material, his small fingers enjoying the feel of the fabric. Looking up at his mother, Kalluto smiled happily.

"Don't smile Kalluto-chan; you're ruining the kimono's effect." Kikyo snapped, stepping forward to straighten the white obi around the child's waist. Petting the young boy's black hair down, Kikyo used her fingers to brush the stray bangs away from her son's eyes. Tugging up the corners of her own lips, Kikyo smiled a little.

The female Zoldyck's hands came together in front of her chest as she looked upon the image of her son. He looked exactly like a doll! His pale skin was a perfect contrast to his dark hair and the light colored kimono made his dark eyes jump out more.

Unfortunately, Kalluto was still male. Kikyo sighed. If only she had had a daughter… The woman's smile did brighten as she remembered within the house was her niece, a living female in which Kikyo could use as a model. The only problem was currently Silva. He had taken the girl in for assassin training.

However, torture was not the only training an assassin needed… Kikyo's pale pink lips stretched into a fully formed smile. Oh yes, disguise was certainly something an assassin needed to learn and no one in the household was better than Kikyo at that particular art. Surely Silva would allow his wife to take over that portion, and allow Kikyo her full freedom to teach the young woman everything she needed to know.

Under Kikyo's tutelage Tsutae will become a wonderful female Zoldyck. The matriarch felt a blossom of warmth at the prospect of having an actual female to teach. Her sons may be able to pass as girls when disguised, but they weren't truly girls. Always longing for a sister or a daughter, Kikyo would settle for Tsutae.

* * *

With an even step, the eldest son of the main family walked down the torch lit hallway. Illumi's hair was cut just below his shoulders and was currently held together by an elastic, while his unobstructed black eyes maintained surveillance on his surroundings. What he couldn't see with his eyes was monitored with his aura, so Illumi was fairly surprised when he came across the unconscious girl.

Her long, black hair was mainly between the rock and her back, the ends spilling out along the floor, but some of the locks were cascading over her shoulders to curtain around her face. Her arms were fully covered by a pink material which also cloaked the rest of her body. Illumi could only assume where her feet were.

Had this girl been a guest? He tilted his head but refused to go closer yet. Her breathing patterns were even, her rising and falling chest the only part which moved. He continued to observe her for a few seconds until the Zoldyck was satisfied she was not a potential threat.

Stepping swiftly, the seventeen year old towered over the collapsed girl. He folded his long legs to crouch in front of her. He used his right hand to carelessly sweep some of the hair from the girl's face and tossed the strands behind her ear. Only when he was able to see more of her features did Illumi recognise her. The girl was his cousin, the one he had met when she and her brother had come to the main house twelve years ago.

Now that the question of who was answered, Illumi tried to reason out the why.

She must have arrived recently since Illumi had only been absent from the main house for but three short days. Still, why would she even be here? There was something Illumi was missing. Looking closer, he noticed her forehead was glistening in sweat. The temperature of the house wasn't nearly warm enough to cause that. He placed the back of his hand to Tsutae's forehead and discovered she had a fever.

No wonder she hadn't reacted to Illumi's presence, she was completely delirious. Did she even yet know Illumi was there?

Straightening his posture, Illumi stood with his hands resting against his hip bone. What was he to do? Should he leave his cousin to fend for herself, or was there some benefit to be reaped from helping her? While it was the rule of a Zoldyck not to depend on anyone, Tsutae was here for a specific reason, was she not? Was that reason safe enough to exploit?

Growing increasingly frustrated with his lack of knowledge about the situation, Illumi decided to leave her. He was on his way to meet with Silva; he could discuss the superficial aspects of the matter with him.

Settling on that decision, the eldest Zoldyck son turned his back to his cousin and continued on down the hallway. It wasn't long before his flickering shadow disappeared and left Tsutae still crumpled against the wall. However, a sound finally escaped her; a soft squeak of fear mixed with pain and too faint for the long gone Illumi to catch.

* * *

The heavy wooden door was yanked closed with excessive force as the preteen stomped his way towards the technology laden desk. Pulling open the drawers of the wooden structure until he found an unopened bag of salted potato chips, the second oldest Zoldyck son tore into the foil bag and shoved a handful of the contents into his mouth.

Milluki was pissed off.

If it hadn't been for that stupid female of a cousin, he wouldn't've had to have waited those precious seconds for food. He had been _starving_ and yet he had been forced to wait because his mama was more interested in what she had to say than allowing him to eat!

Shoving another handful of the salty goods into his mouth, Milluki sat heavily in his black computer chair and licked the grease from his fingers before placing the bag next to his keyboard to turn on the numerous monitors. The boy cracked his knuckles before inhaling more chips and clicking through some new files.

Even at the young age of twelve, Milluki was a computer genius and was more adept at information gathering than actual assassination. Oh how he loved his machines! Each one was hand constructed by the boy so that they worked in perfect harmony with one another and allowed Milluki to focus on different assignments at the same time. Let aniki or that stupid brat Kil try to complete more than one assignment at a time! Impossible! Only Milluki in all of his genius could do something as epic as that.

A smug expression crossed the overweight boy's features until it was replaced by a furrowing brow and crumbs falling from his cheeks. This newest file, it shouldn't have been where it was. It was an assignment meant for aniki and had nothing to do with Mil. Huffing, he stormily got to his feet and stomped out of his room. Why was his father wasting his time with these mistakes? Milluki would make sure this never happened again, his time was too important to waste like this.

* * *

"… and father?" Illumi voiced just as he and Silva finished discussing the next round of jobs Illumi was to complete when the door opened to reveal a red faced and panting Milluki. Silva's expression seemed to darken at his other son's intrusion as Cerberus and Kerberos lifted their heads to growl. The animals' sounds only subsided with a curt command from their master and Milluki walked forward unaware.

"Papa!" Milluki shouted.

Illumi remained silent where he was, looking down at the shorter boy who seemed to be unaware of his presence. Though irritated at his brother, Illumi held his silence to allow their father to deal with him. After all, Illumi was only in charge of training Killua and not this…

"What is it Mil?" Silva asked as he brought his arm down and rested both elbows on his crossed knees.

"You gave me a wrong file! I don't need to do aniki's work on top of my own!" Illumi repressed the urge to slap not only his own face but also that of his younger brother's. Was Milluki so self-absorbed that he felt the need to complain to their father over something so trivial?

"Milluki, could this not have waited?" Silva questioned with well concealed annoyance. It was astonishing to the older man that out of his five sons, no two seemed even remarkably similar in their demeanors. There was barely any commonality between the siblings, even Vanessa and he had at least similar… His thoughts paused as Silva could not for the life of him think of a similarity he and his sister shared. Other than the fact that both were now parents he could not think of one.

"B-b-but!" Milluki sputtered at his father's disinterest in his problems.

"Enough," Silva curtly announced before he angled his head to look more directly at his eldest, "We will speak again later Illumi, for now look over the files."

"Yes father." The eldest Zoldyck son nodded his acknowledgement before disappearing in silence, taking the manila folders Silva had indicated with him.

The family patriarch returned his attention to the stewing Milluki and decided to deal with this headache before it became worse.

* * *

_A/N: Yup there was no Hisoka and very little Tsutae, but hopefully you will understand why I wrote in these parts in the coming chapters. This story is far from over and I am slowly working towards my ultimate goal, cookies go to anyone who can figure it out XD Oh, and cookies also to whoever figures out how I named the dogs. Review please!_


	6. Her Nightmares, His Reality

_A/N: There are going to be nasty images ahead, so this is just another caution for those about to read. _

* * *

Tsutae's eyelids fluttered open yet her vision remained utterly opaque. Unable to see, Tsutae had to rely heavily upon her other senses. Yet there was nothing. No sounds or smells. Even the air lacked a scent or taste, not even the staleness of a long abandoned room was equivalent to this void. Lowering her chin, Tsutae could feel as her eyes blinked, and could feel her fingers as the curled in and out of a fist. She should have been terrified to discover herself in this suffocating isolation; however Tsutae had been raised as a Zoldyck.

Darkness.

Loneliness.

Death and killing.

A solitary existence such as this was a Zoldyck's way of life.

Slowly before Tsutae's eyes she was awestruck to watch as the pale form of her fingers materialized. They were so pale it seemed as though they _glowed_ surrounded by the darkness of the void. Tsutae tightly curled her fingers and watched ghostly afterimages appear.

Slumping her shoulders inward, Tsutae looked past her hands to discover her legs tucked beneath her. They too were pale and ghostly limbs, giving Tsutae an eerie feeling. She felt as her long hair brushed the small of her back and even some was falling over her shoulders to pool in her lap. Tsutae hugged herself.

A child's light and carefree laugh echoed though the emptiness until it reached Tsutae's ears and her eyes searched out the source. A faint swirling mass of light flickered in her peripheral. With a turn of her head, Tsutae watched with widening eyes as the light shifted and grew until it resembled the shape of a small person. Helpless to move, Tsutae continued to watch as the light dimmed and more humanlike features could be perceived. The entity of light had morphed into the figure of the boy Tsutae had met but a short time ago.

"Alluka," her cracked whisper claimed the attention of the dark haired apparition. He stood with his hands held out of view behind his back and wearing the same clothing as earlier. Alluka smiled down at Tsutae, whose features changed to mimic the boy's but retained the sadness she always felt deep within her heart.

"Hehe, why are you sitting like that onee-san? You look silly." Alluka innocently redirected Tsutae's attention back onto herself and she had to wonder. She looked down at her torso and saw that her dark hair resembled that of a dress, cloaking her pale skin. Tsutae also became conscious of the weight of the strands as they fell against her back, a burden she had been unaware she had been carrying.

Tsutae's mind swirled as her thoughts broke apart to travel down separate paths and she was left with only the sole question of why.

The more she thought about it, the muddier Tsutae's memories became. The teen's smile evaporated as all her memories revolved around forcing her body to move and return to her room before it was…

"…too late."

"What's too late onee-san?" The little boy's question startled Tsutae enough that her chin jerked up and green eyes locked with black.

Tsutae forced her smile back onto her face as her eyes grew increasingly heavier. Why was she so tired?

"Nothing Alluka… nothing at all."

Alluka's smile only broadened as he leaned forward, hands still hidden, as he asked, "Why don't you come with me onee-san? I can lead you back to your room. Here," he finally revealed one of his hands, holding it palm up in invitation for Tsutae to take. Without a thought Tsutae would have placed her hand into that smaller one were it not for the patter of something warm dripping onto her kneecap.

Her vision swam with inky blackness at the perfectly formed pair of crimson dots against the pale scape of her skin. Tsutae watched in a trance like state as a third drop appeared between the previous two, linking them until the three merged into one and marked a crimson trail across Tsutae's knee. She was helplessly transfixed as the blood dripped from her skin to the nothingness beneath her.

Alluka's hand remained outstretched but the small fingers were not normal fingers. His hand was transformed into the claws every Zoldyck could manifest when they ripped the heart from their targets. The extended and sharpened nails were coated in a transparent red film of fresh blood.

_This boy,_ Tsutae's thoughts screamed,_ this innocent child has already killed someone!_

"What's wrong onee-san?" A cruel undertone seeped into the apparition's deepening voice. Tsutae watched as the flesh on his face began to melt away. "Don't you want to take my hand? Or are you bothered by the blood onee-san?" The voice stopped to bellow out an eerie laugh. The form no longer resembled that of Alluka's, the skin was barely clinging to the bones beneath and its eyes had sunken until nothing but hollowness remained. The lips too had fallen away as the skin was stretched taunt until its teeth and its red, red tongue were seen moving with every uttered syllable.

This thing wasn't Alluka, it wasn't even human. It was evil. Pure evil given the guise of an innocent child until its outer layer was stripped away and the hidden darkness beneath the surface poured forth.

"Why are you so frightened onee-san? You're hands are stained with more blood than mine. You're just as filthy. Look!" Giddily the bloody, boney fingers of the thing's outstretched hand were curled until only the index finger remained to point downwards at Tsutae's balled fists.

They too were covered in a fresh film of scarlet blood, and as Tsutae raised them they incessantly dripped the liquid onto the bare skin beneath. The drops connected and slowly formed clawed trails down her skin and pooled together beneath her body in an ever spreading puddle. Cupping her hands Tsutae was helpless as the blood never seemed to end; the crimson liquid poured faster and faster from Tsutae's hands and turned her body into a fountain of blood.

Tsutae had killed so many people already.

Bile rose in the teen's throat.

The creature laughed cruelly once more as Tsutae choked down the nausea as well as her sobs. Her body was frozen as it was. No amount of struggling could budge Tsutae.

"No…" Tsutae whispered in vain as she tried to deny the truth that was right in front of her eyes.

"Yes onee-san. You're worse than I am. You're a sinner." The minimal flesh clinging to the creature's skull was stretched into the most hideous smile Tsutae had ever glimpsed and he gleefully sang out his next words, "And all sinners go to _Hell_ onee-san!"

The supporting darkness beneath Tsutae fell away and she plummeted. She was helpless as her voice was mercilessly ripped from her throat as well as the breath in her lungs. Nothing seemed to be within Tsutae's control anymore.

The last image she saw was the once more ever cheerful expression on a shrinking Alluka. He looked exactly as he had before the darkness within had seeped through. He raised his hand to wave enthusiastically; a normal, unbloodied hand.

"Bye-bye onee-san!" The child's lighthearted farewell hauntingly echoed in Tsutae's ears as her weeping green eyes closed and the realm returned once more to an empty void. All feeling from Tsutae's body was slowly eaten by the darkness as she seemed to fall forever and ever.

* * *

Tsutae raised her hand to bring the clear glass vial up to eye level and stared intently at the contents, a fine white powder. On the solid stone table in front of the black haired girl were other glass containers, varying in sizes and shapes, some holding colored powders and others holding liquids, but none were labelled. However, Tsutae knew the names and properties of each vial because if she didn't a fatal mistake was all too easy to make. Poisons were a deadly serious business.

Satisfied that the amount she had poured was accurate, Tsutae deposited the contents into a bowl on top of the stone table and reached for another with premeasured fine yellow powder.

"Tsutae!" Vanessa's shrill voice caused the thirteen year old to jump backwards in fright. Tsutae spun quickly to face her mother and was unprepared to feel the sting of her mother's open palm against her cheek. "Why are you fooling around instead of training with Hakka?"

"B-b-but mother," Tsutae tried to begin only to be silenced by Vanessa's glare. Why was her mother always on Hakka's side? It had been his idea to go off into the forest this morning to play and Tsutae had taken the opportunity to develop her skill with poisons. So why was her mother blind to Hakka's actions? It wasn't Tsutae's fault he neglected his training!

"You're a disgrace! A horrible mistake!" Vanessa berated her daughter, towering over the child and raising her palm as if to strike her again.

"But mother!" Tsutae cried out, her green eyes watering as she felt the urge to cry. She stepped back, hands flailing behind her to find the sharp edge of the table. The thing in front of her wasn't her mother. Vanessa's long, gleaming black hair was limp and greenish. Her face was distorting, head angled as though someone had broken the woman's neck. Tsutae pushed farther back as the creature's hand was lifted, the sleeves of her kimono falling back to reveal rotting black flesh. The teen raised a hand to cover her mouth as she witnessed a clump of the black near-liquid flesh fall away to reveal splintered yellow bones.

"You are not a Zoldyck!" The voice was sick, an evil taunt that spoke the worst things Tsutae had ever imaged. "You're just a disgusting child I should have killed. Hakka is the one I love. You're nothing but a pitiful girl masquerading as something else."

"No!" Tsutae cried out, covering her ears to the creature's vile words. They weren't true! Tsutae knew they couldn't be true!

It stepped closer and traced a razor sharp finger along Tsutae's collar bone, opening a thin line on her skin. Tsutae glanced down and choked as she saw not crimson blood but a black inky liquid pour forth from her own body. Leaning its mouth to Tsutae's ear, the thing whispered a warm breath across her skin, blowing her hair a little to tickle against her scalp.

"When you become nothing but a corpse… no one will weep for you. You are nothing. An existence without purpose. You are not even worthy of a name." Without warning, the creature pierced Tsutae's chest, its rotting hand closing around Tsutae's pumping heart. "You are not worthy of this heart."

Yanking free the vital organ, Tsutae was helpless as she stared at the lump of blood coated flesh held in a hand of black rot and yellow bones. Liquid dribbled down the sides of Tsutae's chin and a mouthful of the black ink was coughed up from her lungs. She felt as though she was suffocating, breathing in the same blackness that covered the creature in front of her. It laughed as Tsutae fruitlessly stretched out a hand to reclaim her heart.

"I told you you're not worthy of it. It would be better suited for a rock." Tilting its hand, the rotting figure allowed the unmoving heart to fall against the floor with a splatter of red, not even caring as its own flesh fell with it, the splintered bones of its fingers showing through as Tsutae's body finally collapsed.

Tsutae's eyes were wide open, and though she now lay against the cold stones without a heart she was still able to see the black, rotting legs of the creature move. She had no choice but to watch and hear the thing giddily laugh as it stomped the flesh that had once been Tsutae's heart. The squelching noise as it was grinded into the rocks caused Tsutae so much anguish if she had been capable of crying, she would have been drowned by her own tears.

* * *

Standing inside a familiar room without a perceivable exit except for a small square window spilling over with moonlight too far away for the young girl to grasp, Tsutae stood alone. She stared longingly at the window through her streaming eyes.

"W-why? _Hic_… mother? Wh… _hic_ have I-I done? _Hic…_" Tsutae's sobs rose as her tiny fingers clenched into the loose white fabric of her nightgown. Why had her mother thrown her into this inescapable prison? The child was helpless as she crumbled to the icy stone floor, her sobs echoing back. Complete fear took hold of her heart and Tsutae helplessly cried out, only to have her plea returned mockingly by the empty room and growing louder with every repetition. Tsutae clawed at her own ears in a vain effort to make the voices stop.

_Mommy make it stop!_ She wanted to scream, to pound on the walls until someone rescued her.

_**Drip**_

Tsutae opened her eyes as the echoes suddenly ceased and she heard the steady dripping of water instead.

_**Drip**_

But where could it be dripping from? There were no leaks in the roof and it hadn't rained in weeks…

_**Drip**_

So where?

Tsutae flicked her eyes around the room, jumping from corner to corner and spinning in endless circles.

_**Drip**_

Finally swallowing her fear, Tsutae looked not at the floor…

_**Drip**_

Or at the shadowy walls…

_**Drip**_

But up towards the ceiling.

_**Drip**_

Tsutae's piercing wail carried far down the empty stone corridors, echoing back every so often until the sound reached Vanessa Zoldyck's ears. The branch family matriarch smiled viciously as she perched on the edge of her sleeping son's mattress, softly brushing the silver hair from his forehead. Her features stared lovingly down at his sleeping face and Hakka never stirred, not even as his older sister's voice subsided.

_**Drip**_

_**Drip**_

_**Drip**_

Tsutae's entire body was quaking as she pressed her back further against the cold stone barrier. Her eyes were forever locked on the corpse of a girl. Hung up by a single ankle and opposite wrist from the ceiling, Tsutae was forced to see her reflection in the dark haired child's place as blood dripped from the various meticulous injuries throughout her body.

Small cuts, long sealed by dry crusty blood, aligned themselves on all four of her arms and legs in purposefully done designs and pierced through her elbows, knees, hips, and every other joint, were needle-thin metal rods which at the time of penetration would have been heated until they glowed ruby in the fire. The small corpse's mouth was limply hanging open, showing the gaping holes of the extracted teeth Vanessa would have gleefully ripped from the gums before sewing the lips shut. The girl would have had no choice but to swallow her own blood. Tsutae could still see the traces of white threads hanging from the skin as the moonlight reflected off her lower face. To be in so much pain that the threads had been broken…

The worst part was not even seeing the unnatural angles of the child's limp limbs; every bone in her body was probably broken in one way or another. No, all this Tsutae had seen before. Tsutae had even been forced to mend her own broken bones after the numerous times Vanessa had been angry during their sessions.

No, the worst was the gaping hole in the dead girl's stomach.

Tsutae clutched at her own unwounded stomach as she doubled over, vomiting the measly contents of her stomach. The innocent unknown girl had been gutted, strung up by her own intestines while she was dying and her decimated corpse placed on display for Tsutae's eyes.

And as terrifying as all this was to Tsutae, the worst part was only revealed when the moonlight shifted higher onto her face, reflecting off of the dead's girl's eyes to show Tsutae their true color. Glazed over and empty, they continued to shine with a deep green. They were the same shade as Tsutae's.

Her mother had brutally tortured a child, a little girl, so identical to her daughter and so maliciously and then forced her own flesh and blood into the room to see the final product that Tsutae was finally forced to realize the value her life held in her mother's heart: Vanessa held no love for Tsutae, and would never hesitate to kill her own child in a similar fashion.

Tsutae was nothing. Her existence was only allowed as long as Vanessa saw no gain to end it.

All night Tsutae was forced to remain in the corpse's room, shivering as the dark shadows brought with them their own cold. No matter how many times she forced herself to look away, Tsutae always felt her eyes drawn back to the other girl's.

How much pain had she been forced to endure?

Tsutae was experienced in torture. The same woman who had, happily, tortured that other girl was the one in which Tsutae was expected to unconditionally trust. What if her mother decided one day to make the session real? To go so far that Tsutae died, in as much pain as Vanessa could inflict beforehand? Would she be strung up like that girl?

Exhaustion was finally taking its hold on Tsutae as against her will she felt her eyes drift closed and her body stopped shivering. It was cold… so cold and so lonely where she was.

The small seven year old's body toppled sideways, completely unresponsive to her surroundings. And the corpse remained in the same unnatural position. The softening moonlight shadowing the face until it seemed as if the dead girl was smiling. She had done her job well.

* * *

~X~

* * *

Hisoka was sitting on the highest ledge that he could and looked out at the twinkling building lights below Heaven's Arena. Resting beside his jean clad thigh was a well-worn deck of cards and, though they were his favourite cards, Hisoka had not touched them today. He had performed no tricks, he had built no card towers, and he had not searched out new toys.

Not today.

Today the red haired nineteen year old had been uncharacteristically solemn. His expression was unreadable, his yellow eyes not even holding a hint of their usual seeking nature.

_What was on his mind?_ The usually, fearfully, thought question by those who had met Hisoka was tenfold increased when he was like this, and even he found himself asking that seemingly repetitive question.

What indeed _was_ on his mind? Something trivial or something of consequence? Maybe both and maybe neither. Hisoka lifted his shoulders and let them drop as he shrugged to himself. If someone had questioned him and he had answered with complete honesty for once, Hisoka would have admitted there was very little on his mind, but at the same time it was filled with thoughts.

No matter which path he walked down, no matter how many twists and turns came to mind it always led him back to a single name, a single family, and the two members of it which he had found to be the most enjoyable toys in his life.

Zoldyck, Illumi.

Zoldyck, Tsutae.

The one was a seventeen year old male, and the second his sixteen year old female cousin… and yet they shared so many similar features with one another that Hisoka would have mistaken them for siblings had he met the two of them at the same place and at the same time.

They truly were a strange family.

Exhaling deeply, Hisoka pulled a cell phone from his pants pocket and flipped it open.

**No New Messages**

Of course neither of them would have contacted him. Illumi would only seek him out if he knew he could benefit from the older teen's help, and that Hisoka would only ask for small compensation for his time. And Tsutae… Hisoka chuckled as he remembered the short time they had spent together. She had at first been terrified, then comfortable, and then angry at him. So angry in fact, she had come storming into his room not too long ago wearing only a short white towel wrapped about her.

Setting the phone down beside his deck, Hisoka reclined onto his elbows to stare at the glistening stars above. There was something truly wonderful about seeing such a view. He kicked his dangling feet and felt as his heels bounced off the arena's structure multiple times. What was Hisoka to do? Without his toys and without a purpose, he was left only with his thoughts for company.

How odd… it had been years since Hisoka hadn't felt the need to go searching for new toys, needing something to occupy his time. He was actually… content to just stay as he was for a while.

Maybe tomorrow he would go in search of a new toy… and even if he didn't discover a new one he knew where to find his other toys. Kukuroo Mountain was a famous tourist destination after all…

Smiling to himself, Hisoka reclined fully onto his back and tucked his hands beneath his head like a pillow. He would just spend the night up here; it was too lovely to be trapped indoors anyways.

* * *

_A blissfully warm river breeze drifted up to where Hisoka was resting on the bank with his knees curled up. It was a sunny summer day and he was all too happy to just sit and soak it up. The river itself was clear, and Hisoka smiled as he saw the dark haired beauty walk through its shallow depths._

_Their pants were rolled up to their knees and they had decided to restrain their extremely long hair in a braid that reached to the small of their back. Hisoka couldn't see much else of them since their back was turned towards him, but he could guess who it was._

"_Tae-chan!" Hisoka called and saw the stiffening of their back. Had he gotten it wrong? Was it actually his Illu-chan out splashing in the water? Hesitantly calling out, "Illu-chan?" Hisoka watched the figure turn, but even though they were now fully facing him Hisoka still could not tell who it was he was seeing. The face was a blank slate without features and their t-shirt was loose enough that even the gentle breeze caused the fabric to continuously ripple._

_They didn't move even as the wind picked up, splashing the water higher until it licked the bottom of their rolled pant legs and sent the braid of their hair snapping like a flag. Soon the elastic holding the ends together snapped, releasing the woven strands. Hisoka could only stare even as the sun disappeared and rain pelted the two mercilessly. _

_Through the falling drops Hisoka saw the figure brush the weighted strands out of their nonexistent eyes, and it seemed to be looking at him and only him. But who was it supposed to be? Was it Illumi? Was it Tsutae?_

_Hisoka had no idea._

* * *

Bolting upright, Hisoka felt the drops of moisture against his heated skin. It really was raining. Not the torrent it had been in his dream, but it was quickly becoming its own downpour. And he was still on the ledge of the Heaven's Arena, not the bank of some river.

Raking his fingers through the tangling mass of red, Hisoka pushed his hair out of his face and looked out. The twinkling stars were hidden behind the dark gray clouds, but now the city lights below looked more beautiful than ever.

This was his reality. Dreams were meant for those who could afford to chase them. Hisoka didn't want to waste his time chasing dreams, he would chase after what he truly desired; strength and power.

His tongue trailed along his bottom lip and Hisoka tasted the crispness of the rain as it continued to pour down and wash over everything. With a stunning smile, the red head clamoured to his feet and decided he had had enough fresh air, tomorrow would be the beginning of another hunt.

And with that, both Illumi and Tsutae were pushed from Hisoka's mind for the time being.

* * *

_A/N: *stares at screen stunned* I ended up where I wanted to go without the plot changing on me... What. The. Fuck!?_

_Hisoka: Proper ladies don't swear Ria~chan ;)_

_A/N: *snorts* I can't believe you haven't messed everything up yet clown, I'm still waiting for you to butt in and make me rethink **everything**._

_Hisoka: Do you really think so poorly of me?_

_A/N: Yes._

_Hisoka: *pretends to look wounded before the subtle shaking of his shoulders ruins the effect*_

_A/N: Sadly it will be awhile before the next chapter I think since I have to think of how this is all going to play out, but luckily I have time off school coming up so I'm looking forward to uninterrupted hours of writing, wish me luck ^^_


End file.
